Saturday, April 30, 2011

N-Zilla strikes again..

N-Zilla my Loveable and Destructive little guy strikes again.  Victim was dad.  N-Zilla broke his glasses.  Grandma Utah and I where enjoying our morning and quite in the front living room.  During some good conversation I hear a heavy sigh.  It was Mr. S, it was his way of letting me know that the peace and quite I was enjoying just moments earlier was too good to be true. 

Mr. S walked into the front living room with his glassed in two.   I don't know how he did it, but N-Zilla broke the frame right down the middle (the part that goes over the bridge of the nose).  This is the third pair of glasses that had ceased at the hands of N-Zilla.  The first 2 were mine.    I would have felt worse for Mr. S if he hadn't blamed me for being on one end of the house while N-Zilla was at the other end (with Mr. S). AND....that he has contacts, work glasses, and industrial glue (which he used and fixed his glasses).

N-Zilla, we need our four eyes so we can see what your are doing!

Friday, April 29, 2011

N-Zilla's Mom needs a Tissue, a Hug, and a Nap

Today the N-Zilla had a doctors appointment. Where I proceeded to cry to the doctor.  I don't know what came over me. I told the doctor it was just because I was tired (N-Zilla's up right now and being very destructive, he doesn't want to go to bed and it is midnight).  I really am just so tired.  I was surprised that that as soon as I opened my mouth, tears came out of my eyes.  I kept on saying I'm just tired.  And I feel like I am alone again.  I don't know what Mr. S feels about all of this.  Sometimes I get the impression  that he is on board with our Sensational N-Zilla and other times he is just at his wits end.

So any way as I was crying at the doctors office, I found out that we are on the right track.  Doctor suggested that I try a night time schedule, something similar to our morning one. Maybe that will help with his sleep.  If not we can try Melatonin.  Geesh I was crying so much I think I might need to make a doc appointment for myself.  That or more frequent trips to the gym.  Maybe the snide remark made by S.I.L was right, maybe I do need counseling. 

I felt good that N-Zilla has such a caring Pediatrician, but walking out of the doctors office I felt embarrassed for crying.  Good Lord, am I that pent up for emotional release that I cry to the first Doctor I see..which by the way was an M.D not a counselor.

Rest of our trip Down Town (San Antonio) went good.  N-Zilla my loveable and destructive boy walked along the River Walk quacking at ducks and trying to jump in the street.  Luckily I had the harness on.  The only awkward thing about that was N-Zilla likes to drop to the ground and crawl or just lay on the cement...so it looked like I was walking my boy on a leash.  I'm kinda use to the stairs and remarks people make when I have the harness on, but safety first.  

As the trip came to the end I felt more and more embarrassed of my tears and more at peace that I am doing exactly what the N-Zilla needs to thrive as his loveable and destructive self.

Midnight ramblings of a nervous mother

Tomorrow is N-Zilla's Doctors appointment..I'm kinda of nervous, and part of me feels like this is just an other Doc's appointment.

Instead of getting all the speech therapy notes etc...Me and N-Zilla watched Whale Rider.  I should be making sure his list of words are up to date, and I should have a list of question prepared for the Doctor.  But I'm not..I'm here blogging.  I should be in bed..every one is asleep...it's hard to sleep when Mr. S is at work over night. Since Grandma Utah is here I've forgotten how lonely and quite the house can get at this time of night/morning.  I wish Mr. S can go with me tomorrow, but I know he will be dog tired...and truth be told, I still think he is uncomfortable and unsure about all of this.  It makes it hard to talk about SPD, I feel like I have to play it down for Mr. S.  It's not his fault...I'm just patiently waiting when we can openly and comfortably talk about N-Zilla and SPD. I want Mr. S to know that our N-Zilla is not broken, that he doesn't need to be fixed.  He is loveable, Sensational, and destructive in every way that he should be. 

I think I am going to interview Mr. S...He doesn't have blog, really no outlet to talk about this stuff.  It's time that Mr.S voice be heard, and that he hear his voice too.
I want to know what he is going through, from his own words.

Well, I guess coming soon Interview with Mr. S.

Any suggestions on what to ask him? 

Monday, April 25, 2011

.....And on the fifth day there was Play!

N-Zilla was awesome.  I remember when my oldest daughter (Crazy Horse) turned one, I had cupcakes for her and Son #1 wanted all the attention.  N-Zilla was happy playing by himself but he also played great with the other toddlers at the house.  No tantrums when the other kids touched his trains.  And he politely as much as a 2 year old loveable and destructive boy can, asked for a non-frosted cupcake.  (Side note: I think for N-Zilla's 3rd birthday I am going to make non-frosted cupcakes.)  After the candle were blown out, and all the hub-bub was around the table watching The Baby eat her cupcake, The N-Zilla grabbed his Thomas the Train blanket and sat on the couch.


N-Zilla's first trip to Sea World San Antonio.  First stop...feed the dolphins.  We didn't feed the dolphins.  The line was to long but that didn't stop us from getting as close as we could do the dolphins.  I was a little embarrassed of my parental skills because my loveable and destructive two year old was yelling, " Ooooo, Fish"!  But given that he was only saying mom and dad  little less then a year ago...calling a mammal a fish seems acceptable.
   It got sticky twice during the day.  At the Bay of Play...we were sitting waiting to watch the show.  Ernie, Bert, Cookie Monster, and Zoe were gonna sing for the tots.  Mr. S and I let the big kids go off and do their own thing while we waited for live action Sesame Street.  Mr. S had The Baby, and I had N-Zilla.  Less then a few minutes into waiting and N-Zilla had had enough.  I looked around and saw all the other toddlers sitting..fidgeting a little, but N-Zilla was going into full blown destructive mode. I could see Mr. S trying to keep his patience.  So, once again I was the mom in the crowd of people; holding her son rocking back and forth, While Mr. S squeezed his arms and legs (that calms him down). The show started and commenced the N-Zilla dance-a-thon.
  Second sticky situation...Rosita's all you can eat buffet.  Usually N-Zilla carries his Thomas bag where ever he goes.  At restaurants, I usually sit him at a table by him self..he sets up his track and trains..then eats.  We didn't bring his bag to Sea World...First we had found a booth big enough for all the gang...but N-Zilla was gonna get destructive.  I didn't want to ruin lunch for everyone.  I sat N-Zilla at a table near everyone else.  Mr. S and I sat at the table with N-Zilla and The Baby.   I felt good that Mr. S chose to sit alienated with me.  He doesn't usually get to see this side of N-Zilla our very loveable and destructive son.  Once again N-Zilla was getting antsy...this time he grabbed my hand put them on his arm and made the motion for me to pinch his arm.  It wasn't too bad, their was a few kids who I'm sure didn't have sensory issues jumping over the booths.  Which made N-Zilla look loveable and docile.  
  I took the two younger ones to see the Shamu show (it's not called that but you know that I meant killer whale).  All in all it was a great first Trip to Sea World San Antonio.. Hopefully next time I will have a camera. 
not just the cell phone.

Picture taken by B.A Martin.  N-Zilla looking at the roller coaster.  


This day not so good.  The older kids were invited to a birthday part of our close friends son.  We all went..cause..what the heck, it's good to get out of the house.  We went to ZTD's.  I don't know what that stands for but it's like a Scandia (in southern California).  Two steps into the door and I could tell that my boy was over whelmed.  Their was this sound that was driving him crazy...every time it went off N-Zilla covered his ears..
We left early...the big kids stayed with the guest of honor.


With out going to every detail...we went to the river for Easter...and N-Zilla was perfectly happy playing with his trains in the middle of the crowd.
Playing with his trains.  Picture taken by my crappy Black Berry

Sometime while making myself  a sandwich, N-Zilla decided to be a ninja and disappear. I looked up and he was gone  My biggest fear when at the river is that one of my kids will drown or a pedophile will kidnap them.  I started yelling out his name...turns out the boy was at the park...I wanted to cry...but instead I spanked him...(ya..I..know).


Monday was just another day.  Except, today was the first time that I saw N-Zilla do pretend play! Even when he is playing with his moon sand, he some how makes it about trains.  However, today I was taking pictures of  The Baby....then N-Zilla picked up a container and started pretending to take pictures.  He made the sound of the flash and turned the container around to "look" at the picture.  I know that this doesn't sound like a big idea...but N-Zilla hasn't done pretend play outside of trains and cars for the past 2 1/2 years, so today was a milestone!  It just reminded me of how I took for granted these types of things when Crazy Horse and Son # 1 were babies.
N-Zilla pretending to take pictures

Of course he had to take pictures of his Thomas Trains.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

N-Zilla...My Loveable and Destructive, AND Insomniac two year old.

Well another sleepless night...

Lets say another sleepless night for me.  The good thing is my N-Zilla didn't keep me up by crying endlessly into the night.  He was just continuously moving until about 2:30 am.  That seems to be the magic number when he finally falls asleep.

Lets break it down...
10 pm N-Zilla rubs his head back and forth against the wall
10 something pm starts singing
11 pm rubs my arm then pinches my arm fat for at least 30minutes
12 N-Zilla tries desperately to find the right spot to put his foot, and always ends up on my butt
12:15 N-Zilla squeezes my neck rolls over and kicks his dad..rolls over and squeezes my neck...this repeats for awhile
1 am N-Zilla, my loveable and destructive insomniac decides he will sooth himself by pinching my earlobe with one hand and pulling my hair with the other...
2:30 I can't breath...I push the boy towards the middle of the bed, go to the bathroom, and he's sound asleep.

5:30 am  I get up to start my day...start to get disgruntled that I did not get enough sleep, then realized at least he wasn't crying for 5 hours straight.

I will take what I can get.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Take me out to the ball game..

Today was Sunday..besides church...it's baseball and softball time...I never realized that when I signed up Crazy Horse and Son #1 for baseball/softball 3 years ago that our spring time weekends would be consumed by baseball, softball, snacks and dirt.  Also, I never anticipated that my kids would actually like the sport.  They do...and every season here we are cheering them on.  Mr. S is even the coach for Son #1.

Luckily since Gramma Utah is here, we have been able to split The Baby and N-Zilla up during games..First round N-Zilla comes to the game.  After, we drop N-Zilla off and pick The Baby up.  Usually, when Gramma Utah is not here, I have N-Zilla and The Baby..which makes for a very long day.

Today was one exciting day...Son #1's team got their first win 8-7...I would like to say that I sat and cheered along with the other parents..but the truth is, I was running after N-Zilla.  The boy just couldn't sit still.  There was more people then usual at our game.  Toward the end of the game N-Zilla was rubbing little rocks on his head.  When every one was cheering he was walking around the bleachers covering his ears.  I could tell he had had about enough. He was a trooper today...I felt as if I was watching two games today...Son #1's and N-Zilla my Loveable and Destructive little guy.  Today he won too..

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

"He only acts like this because of you"......Breath in Breath out and don't take it personal.

This post is just to vent a little...as if the others weren't, but I just got to let out a little steam.

N-Zilla lately....Like the past week has been a bit more destructive then loveable, And that's o.k.....it happens...to all of us, SPD, Speech Delay, Sleep deprived...whoever.  No human being is immune to the dreaded Bad Week.  I have one on average once a month (please hold the "time of the month" joke).

My Loveable and Destructive 2 year old is having a bad week!  Gramma Utah is visiting, it was important that I let her know about N-Zilla's schedule.  It's nothing fancy just the regular schedule.  It's just like the one they have at your kids pre-school giving the times for the daily activities.

Obviously from my previous post I've stated that if I fall behind schedule the N-Zilla as loveable as he is gets in touch with his more destructive side.  Since Gramma Utah has came to visit I haven't been on top of things schedule wise...we have had more fits and break downs...  Gramma Utah give her pearls of wisdom, "You spoil him", "it's not him, it's you", "your making a bigger issue out it"(which for the invisible record of this blog....I AM NOT!  I don't bring up any issues when he is crying, Gramma Utah likes to point out that he is "throwing a fit...not cause he's special either")

My N-Zilla is a toddler...and what ever this SPD or delay is..it is not a behavior  problem...I desperately wish that I could articulate it in such a way that Gramma Utah would understand.  I wish I could word it right when talking about it to anyone so that I don't sound like a overbearing mother.  I wish that when N-Zilla has a hard time with anything...people didn't stair at him and think..is he just having a melt down or is it spd.

I despise the phrase,"he only acts like this when your here".  There are so many ways to respond to that..but whats the point.

In short...N-Zilla, good, bad, sleep deprived what ever the day brings....is wonderful, loveable and special in every way that a son could be.

;) now i feel better

Monday, April 11, 2011

Sleepless in San Antonio

Last night the N-Zilla woke up crying and had a hard time falling asleep.

Mr. S and I always figured that when N-Zilla woke up in the middle of the night crying it was because of growing pains.  Maybe that's not the case...

I can't count the countless nights that I have stayed awake with N-Zilla my loveable and destructive sitting on the couch and listen to him cry.

There is something about a toddler cry after Midnight...it becomes more annoying and inconsolable.

Mr. S has even joined in on our crying rendezvous.  The last crying spell, Mr. S and I sat next to our son and squeezed his arms and legs until he fell asleep.

Last night we had a crying spell.  I fell so helpless as his parent.  I have to fight back my frustration of hearing him cry in the middle of the night.  He might wake up The Baby.  What if Son #1 and Crazy Horse don't  get enough rest for school?  What if my mom (came to visit from Utah) wakes up? Mr. S will not get enough sleep.    And then the helplessness pours in, I can't make him stop crying...I can't make what ever is hurting him stop.  The only thing I can do is scratch his arm to help sooth him, and hope he falls asleep before my alarm goes off.

Sleepless nights have been part of N-Zilla's routine as long as he has been alive.  Every one has their theory or advice...maybe he's hungry, he got to much sun, he had a nightmare, he's room needs to be blessed, he is just being difficult, he needs a bath...etc  Every one from Grandma Big Bear to the M.I.L.  I've done every single suggestion.

I'm hoping that we are not taking a few steps back.  Lately the sleepless nights and the return of the sippy cup freak me out a little.

Not to mention I don't feel that the visiting mama understands.  She thinks that I am spoiling the boy.  Since she has came to visit she has told me that he is fine he is just being difficult.  Yet when I turn the corner she is "giving in to him".  Trying to explain is so frustrating.

Today we have speech therapy...gonna get things back on track and keep trusting my gut.

(Found some blog sites, tonight will share all the helpful info I've found)

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


Yesterday's Speech Therapy went...well AWESOME!  It was one of the best and most rewarding sessions we have had thus far. 

Usually the first 30 minutes consist of N-Zilla mimicking dialogue from Thomas and Friends and playing with his train and train tracks...Slowly the s/t will add a different toy into the session. Doesn't last long.  Then followed with the dreaded question, "So can he name any body parts other then his nose and hands"?  "Not yet but were working on it".  Nothing like the word "Yet" to make a parent fill like a failure.

However, today was different!  Instead of going to the back room...which acts as family room/play area, we stayed in the front room (my living room...only in my head...the kids own everything).  I brought out the box with the Moon Sand (best gift from the God Parents) with all the little hidden treasures in it.  It was the best!  N-Zilla stayed calm and focused for entire session.  He didn't run to the train tracks, he conversed (the way he does) and interacted with the s/t.  I still had to say, "not yet", when asked if he is saying body parts.  BUT, when asked what's new and what's different...I was so shocked that I had a list of accomplishments!  Since using some occupational techniques at home it's like the speech is following.  Still lots of gibberish, but lots of new words and phrases.  I wanna say he has surpassed 100 words by now!  We had only one set back with the sippy cup...I NEED TO SLEEP.

With some changes around the toy area, house, attitudes and communication it's feels like with in a month N-Zilla has accomplished so much!  Not to mention the next day when Mr. S was home he took an active interest in the days s/t session...Reading the yellow paper left by the s/t and asking how the N-Zilla did.  It felt good to say it went AWESOME! LOTS OF PROGRESS!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Bit of free time, reflection, and review.....now back to work!

Today is speech therapy...I should really start getting the house presentable...but the N-Zilla is nice and quiet...wait maybe too quite I'm gonna go check on the boy.

You the reader can't tell this..but it's been a mini pause since I check the N-Zilla..I peeked to see what the haps was...and there was my N-Zilla drinking syrup straight from the bottle...GREAT!  We will see what happens in abut 20 minutes.  This reminds me of myself..I use to sneak into the kitchen and drink A1 sauce...I was a weird kid...not to mention I use to eat toilet paper, drink lotion (only Jonson &Jonson the pink bottle...I have standards), and I think the weirdest one of all was masa...My grandmother would make homemade tortillas...and she would roll the dough or masa into balls...ready to be made into the round tortilla..  First I would ask grandma if I just could have a pinch of the dough..I'm sure after a billion no's I wore her down.  Just a little finger nail full.  But later when she was not in the kitchen I would grab two masa balls and lay under the table shoving  masa ball in my mouth one at a time...I don't know why I did this...and I don't know when I grew out of it..But thank goodness I did.

So far N-Zilla sneaks drinks of syrup...creamer...so far not so bad. What kid doesn't like sweet stuff?  We have added flower pedals and flower stems to the list.  I don't know what to do about that..I guess just keep non-poisonous flowers out of the house.  So please no poinsettias for Christmas.  He bites the bread bag..with the bread still in it (gripes... I did this too)!

Thinking about it N-Zilla never liked eating baby food...he would gag as soon as the goop touched his mouth...shaking his head no..I kept on feeding him..the kid needed to eat.

K...super quick review...
1. Realized N-Zilla does awesome at home with mama (me)
2. N-Zilla is a bit destructive in church and Mr. S has to fine tune his nerve level with N-Zilla in public during an public outburst.  He's learning
3. Confirmed that I picked the best God Parents for N-Zilla!
4. N-Zilla becomes quite destructive when his peers touch the THOMAS BAG..
5.N-Zilla blinked a lot this Sunday while other kids played around him.
6. Moon Sand is the greatest thing!!!!!Thanks to the Nina and Nino
7. As a last resort...Just Dance the game does wonders to tame the beast.
8.I still don't know if it's something or nothing...
9. Last but not least...I would like to send a shout out to the Nina and Nino...

Now back to Work!