Wednesday, November 30, 2011

N-Zilla's Mom is giving advice.

If I could give any constructive advice to parents and families going through any diagnoses process. Anything to do with SPD. ASD. AS.  Or Just having kids.  Here they are.

1.  The first and most important is YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S ADVOCATE.  Never forget that.

2.  Relatives might be rude.  Strangers will be rude.  Try your best not to let it get you down.  Number 2 will tie in with number 3.....wait for it.

3.  Start a blog! You won't believe how much you release.  Then you reread and reflect.  Plus there is a huge community out there via blogging/twitter/facebook.  Where you thought you were alone...you find out that your not and who knows maybe your words are there for someone else.

4.  Trust your gut.  It's hard when you hear "what if's"coming from every direction.  Remember YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S ADVOCATE and YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD BEST.

5. Ask for help.  Their are so many programs.  N-Zilla was in speech therapy through ECI (Early Childhood Intervention, through Brighten in San Antonio).  Now he is in pre-k through the school district.  Any Baby Can is a awesome resource

6.  Ask for help. Again.  Find a special someone who knows and gets your little "N-Zilla".  Have them watch him/her for a bit.  Take a nap.  Drink some wine.  What ever.  Just get the help and unwind.  Your N-Zilla will thank you later.

7.  Have a sensory diet ready.  N-Zilla's consist of three hat that must be worn at the same time, a diesel 10 train, a body sock, pictures of familiar routines, and tight hugs.   Find out what your kiddo likes and have it ready.

8.  Read the signs.  We can tell when N-Zilla has had enough of company.  So he has learned to excuse himself and go to a quite place.  Usually it is his room with his trains or going on google images to look at Diesel 10.  Don't call attention to it.   At restaurants we go for walks to avoid meltdowns.  We also avoid triggers.  Like my beloved Red Robbins.

9. Don't let anyone down play or push a diagnoses.  Remember 1. and 4.

10. Continue to Love you child.  You'll get through it.  Some days will hurt more then others.  Some days you want to get ear muffs and drink heavily. Some days are great.  But isn't that how it is for most parents?    (Please tell me I am not the only one.)

Those are Tips From N-Zilla's Mom.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Tick Tock...The N-Zilla alarm.

So we had a holiday week.  (For the record I don't remember getting a whole week off for Thanksgiving).  I have to say it was pretty enjoyable.  I of course took the year off from volunteering and cooking.  That might have had something to do with it.

Guilty Mama Confession.
 I write these next few sentences as a guilty mother. N-Zilla and The Lilith (baby sister) were sick, because they were sick  the house was pretty quite.    The mess factor was down to a code blue.  That's a good thing.  The Todds spent their days laying on my bed watching Little Einsteins only lifting there heads to "drink" their food and take fever reducing medication.  The occasional nap, diaper change and story time.  Vacation with the Todds was a cinch.

I prepared weeks in advance for the holiday (Thanksgiving).  I went to the store buying early Christmas presents for the N-Zilla so he and us could enjoy our Thanksgiving dinner out.  Had a sensory bag locked and loaded for both of the Todds really.  I even designated a spot in the van for the bags.  I was Mama hear me roar.
This is the first time I have ever spent more then 10$ on head Phones.  But they are Awesome!

Thanksgiving Dinner and other Social Engagements 
 As with most babies, toddlers and kids their is a social time limit.  We are learning N-Zilla's.  We know now that it's okay to excuse ourselves from the table and take a little walk with him until the food comes.  We know to always have the Thomas the Bag ready and two Lighting Mc Queen cars handy AT ALL TIMES.

Notice that both hands are holding Lighting Mc Queen Cars

We are on a time limit. (Any one with kids or pets waiting at home could say the same thing.)
We are on a time limit at Birthday parties.  At game night.  Shopping etc.    N-Zilla our Loveable and Destructive Alarm sends us signals when to go.   We have to excuse ourselves a little bit earlier.  Hoping that we don't offend our host if we leave to early or praying that nothing is broken if we stay to late.

I'm Thankful for...
No matter what time we have to leave any where...I'm still so flipping happy that I enjoyed a whole week of vacation with all four kids home.  Plus the weekend.  

Monday, November 21, 2011

Part 2. My Loveable and Destructive son is not a spectrum test

Levels of N-Zilla

So here we are weeks later and I am barely getting to part 2 of the last post I had. 

Any who...  I think where I left off, I was going to tell you that I had to explain to the nurse that N-Zilla is on the spectrum.  That is where the testing began.

When listening to his heart she brought her forehead real close to his.  No...not real close. Touching.  As far as I know I don't "have anything", and I don't like people getting that close to me.

N-Zilla looked at me then at her.

"Oh no, he's fine.  He is not that much on the spectrum.  He let me go in his comfort zone".

What the hell.

Then she started to randomly clap.  I'm assuming to see if the sudden annoying noise will "set him off".

This made me upset.  What the hell difference does it make what part of the spectrum if any he is on?

N-Zilla isn't a walking test.  He isn't a poster child for spectrum.  I've spent the past year not doing things to "set him off", and working with him to go past his comfort zone.

It was not medically necessary to do these things.  It was just for comparison.  Her friend had a son that...and so on and so on.

What if these things had made him uncomfortable to the point of no return.  Then what?

It made me upset, sad, and angry.  I couldn't help my Lovable and Destructive son verbalize why his hand was close shut for 4 or more hours.  I couldn't verbalize for him that no matter if he had a eye growing out of his forehead he still wouldn't like a perfect strangers forehead to touch his.

He is a person.  Not a test.  He is not SPD.  He is not AS or ASD.  He is not maybe or what if.  He is not a Brat that needs to be spanked.  He is my little boy.  He is N-Zilla my Loveable and Destructive (non-test) Human Being.