Now that you mention it....

Sometimes when I find out information that confirms SPD in our family I get choked up..other times I tell my self that it is ok because N-Zilla will grow out of it.

Today was a day that I got choked up...I realized that maybe the reason why Crazy Horse never liked me to comb her was that she had SPD...it was a daily thing.  Every morning she would cry.  NO, not just cry...completely break down.. It sounded as if she was being tortured every time I took a brush to her head.  I always thought she as just being difficult.  Thinking of all the times I yelled at her for not letting me comb her hair made me feel so bad as a parent. Now Crazy Horse's hair is always short.

Also today,  I watched N-Zilla as he took a nap.  His little body was twitching the whole time...No wonder he hardly seems rested when he wakes up..I remember the speech therapist asking me if he moved a lot in his sleep.  I didn't really know because up until today I never watched sleep.  When ever the boy sleeps I try to catch a few Z's myself or do something productive around the house.

Oh well...here's to learning and growing as a parent..

Sensory Play...Aka My Living Room

Turing the play section into a sensory play area...Keeping N-Zilla in mind...Wish I had my camera so I could take pictures of it..but that's right...one day N-Zilla made it sleep with the fishy's...

I'm trying to find what I can with out spending $50 dollars at a time...Lake Shore had some awesome stuff but I have four kids which equal to 20.

At the trip to the $ store today I found a magnetic fishing set.  I put the fish in rice..N-Zilla loves it..It kept him busy while I did some home work.  Only cost me 2$ plus tax...the fish set and a plastic container to keep it in. 

I also put the silly bands that Sunshine got for N-Zilla in a plastic container with cotton balls.  Another keeper.

N-Zilla only knocked over his play area once today!  I'm not being sarcastic..I am really excited about that.
If any one else has any homemade Idea's leave a comment..

It's not cute every single day....

Tonight was the baaaad night....or day.  Today was just conformation that I'm is right.  N-Zilla has a schedule..

N-Zilla is moving from the time he wakes up til he falls to asleep and with out direction or something to do my house pays dearly...Today every part of my house has seen the wrath of N-Zilla my Loveable and Destructive two year old.

Today I couldn't help it..I have a dead  line tomorrow for a class...I needed to get it done.  I could hear the Cherrio's hitting the floor as typed away. 

It's days like this I dislike being a mom.  It's days like this I want to put the t.v on and let the kids zone out...Matter of fact I did...didn't work.  I had to go on.

Tonight N-Zilla just wouldn't stop.  I had enough....I had to stop working.  I laid down with him.  I got kicked, slapped and I think my eye was poked.  N-Zilla wouldn't sit/lay still.   It reminded me of the days when he was a baby...the boy would not sleep...he was up until 4am....moving..tossing and turning...and crying.

Lately I feel like those days are back...

you can't tell but he's crying...that's how most of our dining experience's where until lately.

  

I put the schedule up for us to help N-Zilla..maybe he wouldn't be so destructive just loveable through out the week...Sometimes I feel maybe I'm over doing it...just leave it alone, "he'll grow out of it" but tonight reminded me of what we were going through a few months  ago...Everyday.  If I keep him busy for the majority of the day I don't feel overtaken and I'm sure N-Zilla feels more in control of him self. 

My goal is to make the play area a little Sensory area for N-Zilla...and The Baby...what the heck...For Son #1 and Crazy Horse too! 

So yeah I have a schedule taped in the kitchen, and I moved the outside toys into sections for N-Zilla.....some might think I'm overreacting...but one day with out the schedule and I want to run out side cry and smoke cigarettes.  I'm gonna try to not let my work interfere with N-Zilla my Loveable and Destructive boy's day..or any of my kids for that matter...sure I might age a little more..but if it avoids outburst like tonight and late night cleaning...then I don't mind.

...And Then He Bit me.....

The last few days have been a mental roller-coaster....trying to find some info about Sensory Processing Disorder...talk about Sensory over load for me....and not to mention we are all still morning the death of Wasabie (our doggie).

It was hard to weed through the info on the web...when you type in symptoms first things that pop up is Autism and ADHD...Finally got to Sensory Processing Disorder..and I was getting all torn up inside because lots of the symptoms Crazy Horse (daughter. .9 yr old) ...but she seems to have out grown it about the time I signed her up for Soft Ball...

The whole Sensory thing seems to be effecting N-Zilla in a whole different/opposite way.  Also what was a little discouraging was that their is not really preventive health for this kinda thing...I kinda have to wait til N-Zilla gets in a school setting (again) and acts out...not participate..or regress...

As of right now it seems like my Insurance won't cover Occupational Therapy or Sensory Toys that N-Zilla could benefit from.  I've come to grips with that.  What ever it takes..Even if I have to make my own flash cards and glue sand outlining the letters. 

Found out some helpful info...and still looking for blogs about parents that are going through Sensory issues and/or speech therapy...So please if your out there..send a comment.
Went with Sun Shine (my cousin) to Lake Shore... to see what they had...we also went to the mall and other stores had lunch together...I love Sunshine for the way she loves N-Zilla.  Poor thing has been victim to N-Zilla's Loveable and Destructive ways...things have been broken, lost, and ripped.  Sunshine is on board with N-Zilla...she doesn't treat him any different.  When buying things for N-Zilla she actually goes out of her ways to see if it will benefit N-Zilla.  Like the Silly Bands she got for N-Zilla, "Oh this should be good for sensory and colors".  She's totally looking out for N-Zilla..

Our last stop was Target....then straight off to Softball practice...I was filling drained but also in a good mood... N-Zilla was good at the stores...didn't pee in his underwear...he laid on the floor a couple of times...but no biggie.  And then he BIT ME!

In all of his life (2 2.5 years) the boy has never bit me.  What the hell! N-Zilla wouldn't let got..I thought he was leaning in for a kiss...now I'm going to be sporting a welt for the next day....

Hours later The Baby bit me on my shoulder...Go figure.

Rollie Pollie...the gate way Bug...

  

(First, my pictures are going to be bad quality for a while.  My Loveable and Destructive son put my Camera that Mr. S got me for Valentines day in the fish tank.  Any pictures that I put up that are in good quality are pre-water function.  Bare with me,  We have birthday's, promotions, and baptisms.  After all that..if nothing else comes up, I'll get a brand new (water proof) camera)

Today was Speech Therapy, and thank goodness N-Zilla was in a better mood this time.  We had a scheduled S/T on Monday; however the N-Zilla woke right after Mr. S went to work.  He didn't want to be held, ignored, talked to, and he wanted milk then he didn't want milk.  He wanted Thomas and Friends on but apparently I put the wrong one on.  At 6am I couldn't take it any more.  I went in my room to do some home work and listened to music to help drown out N-Zilla's crying....at 6:30am he fell asleep.  That was great except he didn't wake up for S/T.  He shook his head no and went back to sleep.  We rescheduled for Thursday.

N-Zilla was bright eyed and up early this morning.  This meant that I had to be too.  It also meant that we had a limited time to be cooped up in the house before N-Zilla would expire.  

Poured my self the best store brand (HEB) coffee....got the boy dressed and ventured out into the front lawn.  I figured we'd plant some flowers.  N-Zilla has shown interest in flowers lately.  I opened the bag of potting soil...gave N-Zilla his mini shovel to scope the dirt out.  It lasted all about 1 minute.  As soon as he touched the damp soil he shook his heads and said, "No, bug".  His interest faded quickly.  

I tried having him sit in my lap while while I planted the flowers...N-Zilla began banging his head against my chest...quickly I could see that wasn't gonna work.  N-zilla wasn't "throwing a fit", he just clearly did not like the dirt and sitting in my lap.  He didn't mind sitting and watching me.  He was my cheerleader saying, "o cul", "aww floweer". 

I wanted to try to get him involved because I could see his eyes shifting toward the blasted HEB Buddy bag that he carries with him ALWAYS! It holds his Thomas the Train tracks and trains.

I got some paint and gave him a paint brush.  What I really wanted to do was put the kids hand prints on the planter...but N-Zilla doesn't like paint on his hands. So I gave him the brush....He sat for while painting ( a few minutes).  It was a victory because he was calm and focused, at peace....paint eventually got on his hand and he called it quiets and moved on to his Buddy Bag.

The Speech Therapist came shortly after that...but it took 30 minutes to get him to venture out side of Thomas.

The day went pretty smooth after that.  I find that as long as I keep him busy from the time he wakes up til he lets me know he is ready to slow down (about 11:30), things go pretty good.  Only problem about that....I have The Baby and a full Load of On-line Classes and dead lines, tweens, and the house.  It gets sticky sometimes.  And honestly when ever I am focused on one, the other  gets neglected or not 100% of my 100%.  It can get mentally exhausting.  So at the end of the day..when it looks like I did nothing in the house...my brain is trying to remember if every body got what they needed through out the day and the dog got fed.

Night time went good too...to  tired to fight N-Zilla to sleep in his own bed, Mr S and I surrender and let the boy lay down with us.  Singing song's and saying rhymes, I think Mr. S got to bond with N-Zilla and see that he wants to speak so bad it almost looks like it hurts..but in stead he repeats "Thomas", and " Cu's Cu's" (blues clues).  I think he does this, because he knows that we understand him when he says those words.

I forgot to mention...another huge accomplishment...N-Zilla didn't freak out when I showed him a rollie pollie..he didn't touch it...but he didn't lose it when he saw it...hopefully rollie pollie's are his gateway bug.

Lets get naked

Having a lunch at N-Zilla's favorite place, While sitting down with my Bestie Tia, N-Zilla decides to strip..I loved that my Bestie Tia said, "Oh  it's nap time".  I love that she gets me and she get's my Loveable and Destructive son.    It made this day so much better.

N-Zilla....Loveable and Destructive

N-Zilla....My 2 very soon to be 3 y/o Loveable and Destructive son.  He is #3 of 4 kids.  And yes is 2 and everything that goes with that...I've read several different times that living with toddlers is like living with a drunk or at a frat house.  This is true. 

Recently (6 months ago) I realized that N-Zilla wasn't saying much...just Mom and point to the fridge for milk.  But was super active...In fact so active that he was constantly moving even while sitting in my lap. Also so Loveable and Destructive that every time I had to use the bath room...something was broken, swallowed, or spilled.  All of the time!  And the constant crying :( Now...I have four kids, two of which that are far from toddler-hood and knocking at the tween years...I know toddlers are well...mini drunks...But my N-Zilla is a bit more.  I know...every kid is different.blah.blah.blah.  I know, I have four.

Fast forward N-Zilla is in ECI (early childhood intervention), speech therapy.  It's is awesome!  he is now up to 80 words and 5 sentence, that is leaps and bounds for us.

I am married but I feel that I am going through this alone.  Mr. S works a lot (just out of the house a lot), Recently I have had anxiety...N-Zilla has taken my house hostage, I'm trying to get a hold of that.  Also, I have been getting more looks when in public with my Loveable and Destructive boy because he is constantly moving, and the fact that I constantly have to talk when out in public.., "oh look at that N-Zilla"...."N-Zill, put this in the basket."..."Yes, that is blue...car... truck...baby"...If I don't continuously engage with the N-Zilla the trip to where ever can get pretty bad...trust me, this leading me to look like a mad women at the store. Plus holding the baby too. 

Among other things...N-Zilla doesn't like to touch paint, glue, etc nothing sticky oh his hands...freaks out at the sight of bugs. Recently he will sit long enough to flip though a book(accomplishment)! Lady S (m-i-l) stairs at my son when he has a tantrum, "My kids where never like that". And, "N-Zilla is worse then Mr. S was when he was little...you have it bad"...this are some of the nicer comments I hear.  All these things add up...sooo hence the blog...I feel better already!