When ARD'S/IEP's Go Right. My Top 5 for ARD'S and IEP's

*This post  is from April 2015 

No. Not really but this one wasn't that bad.

Annual IEP's and  if your in the state of Texas is one of the most stressful times for parents...but time I didn't have to wear water proof mascara. Nothing got Tabled (Tabled: Term used when ARD Committee can not agree and need to take a 10 day break then come back and hopefully a decision in the best interest for the child can be made). I wasn't secretly cursing out any part of the ARD committee. This school year has shown me that their is such a thing a constructive ARD (Admission. Renewal. Dismissal). Communication between N-Zilla's teacher and I are great. I didn't feel like I was being patronized. I really felt that we all had my son's best interest at heart. All together it only took 2 hrs. Yeah, even good ARD's take time.

Of course I still have mad anxiety leading up to the day of the ARD. It's kinda like going into a mediation for child custody. If you've never been then thank your lucky stars.

I'm not delusional to think that I will never have a difficult ARD again but I really do appreciate the Staff at Spring Meadows Elementary. N-Zilla and I have been blessed to have the teacher he has had this school year.

Here are some of my tips and suggestion to help with ARD's and IEP.

1. Communication. Communication. Communication.

Don't wait for an ARD/IEP meeting to talk about your concerns. I'm sure on average Ms. C and I are having a Parent/Teacher Conference once a month not to mention emails and text. I appreciate this. Tons.

2. Take notes and keep a paper trail.

 A parents brain is just a computer with several tabs open. Mine has a gazillion open. It's like    Pinterest on steroids. Taking notes helps me remember what you talked about in the parent    meeting last Tuesday.

 It also helps as a reference during ARDs. AND it shows progress or regression for your kiddo.

3. List. List. List.

Before going to the ARD make a list of what you would like to talk about. Your child's strengths and weaknesses.  For ex: I made a list of Accomplishments and Strengths and bullet point list to keep me on track.

• Evaluation from Doc
• Transition reminders
• BIP(I would like a Behavior Plan)
• Plan in place for sub
• Visual schedule and timers 
• seating arrangements for next year
• accommodations/modifications
• teacher recommendations for next year. 

4. Bring with you the most recent evaluation form Doctors and/or Therapist.

5. Ask questions. Communicate. 
You are the main B-I of the ARD committee. Don't every forget that.

I hope I can help any newbies or "oldbies" when it comes to ARD's. I wish all ARD's-mine and yours could be like the one I just had.

Here's to ARD's and water proof mascara. May the next one be just as good. 

Kindergarten (again)

. 

We made it.  First week back to school under our belts.  Teachers. Parents. Daycare.  We did it!  


Okay...I would like to say  that this is the first year of all the school years (for N-Zilla) that I the mom have had a positive-fabulous-optimistic- and all the happy words in the thesaurus experience with A) new school B) new teacher and  C) first week.

*Back track
Lets go back to the end of last school year May ARD.  In this ARD we made the decision that N-Zilla would continue another year in Kindergarten. In his scenario I think it would benefit him and after a few years of trial and error in the IEP process towards the end of last school year I felt very comfortable with the ARD team. I was being heard and I was hearing them. We all had the best interest of N-Zilla. I took classes at ANY BABY CAN and Brighton ECI with Janet Fitzhugh to understand better the ARD process, my rights and responsibilities as the parent and N-Zilla's rights. I got to know the Spec Ed teacher, the OT therapist, the speech therapist, and most of the other members of the ARD committee.  We worked really hard on N-Zilla's new IEP. Most ARD meetings are not like your typical parent/teacher meeting. They can last few hours and in some cases weeks if it is "tabled".

*Fast Foward
N-Zilla is now at his home campus. He is in his 2nd year of kinder and at meet the teacher night I felt relief. (Little fun fact N-Zilla's Kinder Teacher was my daughters Kinder teacher back in the day aka 2008.) 
Every year the school picks a theme for the year one year it was gardens/flowers, next was safari.  This year-Super Hero! Yes Super Hero.  What a way to peek N-Zilla's interest.
Now for the best part of all...N-Zilla's Teacher.  She read his IEP.  Yes, those things in the ARD.  That thing that I and the rest of the ARD committee worked so hard on last school year.  She read the ARD!  Mrs. C was being Proactive instead of reactive.  Sounds small especially at Meet the Teacher Night but it made a difference.  Many times I hear, "He seems fine to me" or "He looks normal" or "Tons of kids do that" or "Are you sure it's not just you" Or "cut the cord mom".   I take these statements with a spoon of sugar and as a compliment because it means that I and all the people on N-Zilla's team are proactive not reactive. It means that in 6 years I've learned to think like N-Zilla and so does his Kinder teacher.  It means that OT therapy and Speech therapy twice a week does wonders. Shout out to Miss Jenny and Mrs. Megan!

A huge shout out to Ms. C!  Walking into the class room visions of Ryan Gosling with his thumbs up wearing reading glasses saying it's gonna be cool Adee, it's gonna be cool. She had his space ready for him on the carpet and his desk.  Even the spot for his pack-back or as I use to call it the pack-pack.  It was perfect. Knowing what to expect daily and having a visual is N-Zilla's method of operation.

Added bonus, because my older kids went to this Elementary I am familiar with some of the staff. Like Son Number One's 3rd grade and Tag teacher. So comforting really she's the best.  Yes the best.
I've got a good feeling about this year. Not every day is gonna be all the positive words in the Thesaurus. Some weeks are gonna end with a bottle of Wine and NetFlix for either me or Ms. C (or both) but I feel so good and safe that lines of communication are open, N-Zilla's has eyes around the school, and most of all Ms. C is his teacher and what we don't know we will learn together.

            

                                         

...good things too...

 

As stressful as this whole ARD/IEP business has been, their have been lots of good things too.

Like this morning...N-Zilla stayed home from school today and while I checked my email he got a wire (from I don't know where) and pretended to go fishing.  He came up to me with his imaginary catch and asked me if I was hungry.  This is kinda of a amazing thing.  Spontaneous imagination isn't something that N-Zilla does much.  I cried the first time he pretend to take a picture with a plastic container.  Everything before that was trains, trains, train. 

AND...

Last week we missed the bus.  Meaning N-Zilla and I stayed up way to late and I hit the snooze button one to many times.   Before getting myself to work, I took Talulah to daycare, dropped off Crazy Horse at school, and was on my way to take N-Zilla to school  4 exits away.  We saw a stray dog when N-Zilla said, " Oh Mommy a puppy. He he he sad. He he he mom sad.  Puppy need look for him mommy and him daddy. He he he need 'em".   He was having a conversation with me about something.  And it was WONDERFUL!   Before that it has been very rare that he has any conversations with me about anything other then his likes.  This was the first time at 4 1/2 years old that N-Zilla talked to me about something that was happening.   It was unexpected.  I played it cool not wanting to embarrass him.  I just carried on with the conversation but inside I felt as if I was watching him walk across a stage getting an award or graduating.  That  was how much pride I felt for my little boy.  

AND...

A few weekends ago, I was folding laundry (again) and in the corner of my eye I saw N-Zlla walk into the restroom lift the toilet seat and go to the restroom.  By himself.  I heard the faucet turn off.  N-Zilla walked to me and this is how our conversation went:

N-Zilla: I boy

Me:     Yes, yes you are a boy  

N-Zilla: I bust da Gems

Me: You bust the jams?    

N-Zilla: NO! da gems da gems I bust da gems.

Me: Do you mean you washed your hands?

N-Zilla: Yes I bust da gems! (lifts hands )

Me: You washed your hand and washed off the germs?

N-Zilla: Yes!

Me: Oh! well, good job then.

This was huge!  He went to the bathroom by himself.  I usually have alarms on my phone to remind me that he needs to sit on the toilet.  He washed his hands by himself AND told me about it.  Another proud moment. 

So yeah...ARDS are stressful, having strict routines to follow stresses me out but lots of good things are happening too. 

  

Rant's and Rave's and IEP's

It's that time of year again. ARD.   We get to go over N-Zilla's IEP. For of you that don't know A.R.D stands for Admissions. Review. Dismissal.  and IEP is Individual Education Plan.  

When N-Zilla's PPCD (Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities) pre-k teacher, Mrs J taught him last year the ARD's were a piece of gluten free cake.    Now...not so much.  I will never forget a private conversation we had earlier this year (Mrs. J was moved to a different elementary school...I was told that the PPCD program had closed and N-Zilla's wonderful teacher had to move) with Mrs. J.  Earlier in the year around October, the ARD committee wanted to have N-Zilla move to another campus that had a PPCD program in place since the one where he was at was closing.   I disagreed.  For many reasons.  Mostly how they closed the program and moved a wonderful teacher was wrong.  On a Thursday she was told that Friday she would be moving to another school.  And how it screwed N-Zilla.   I disagreed, and disagreed some more.  Finally after many phone calls.  Searching on the Web, reading and reading the IDEA parent booklet, late night convo's,coffee and tears with the Bestie AND speaking with a advocate, it was decided that staying at his current school would be the LRE (Least Restrictive Environment) for N-Zilla.  At work I ran into Mrs. J and we talked about the situation.  I told her that I couldn't believe it was going to be this hard to be heard and make a decision for my son.  I will never forget the words that she said to me, "It's only going to get harder.  You've got to be prepared and continue to be N-Zilla's advocate".

Gulp.   She was right.  I was kinda hoping that the whole N-Zilla get's to stay debacle was a one time thing.  This is our first ARD after the great ARD of  October and it is just as heated.  

N-Zilla will be going to Kindergarten next fall...he currently is the only PPCD student at his present school and our home campus is not "PPCD qualified" or has the "PPCD qualified staff" equipet to service N-Zilla so it's being told to me.  It is being suggested strongly that N-Zilla attends an other campus that is PPCD "ready".  He will be in a General Ed class with a kinder teacher and a Para-Aid (Paraprofessional), the Spec Ed teacher will over-see his progress and be a resource for his Kinder teacher. I can not understand why this can not happen at his home campus.  N-Zilla can not be the only student that has PPD-NOS (Pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified) or has ASD ( Autism Spectrum Disorder).  N-Zilla can not be the only student at our home campus that needs Spec Ed resources.  He just can't be the only one!

(just breath Adee...just breath)

I have a very dear friend...I refer to her as The Bestie.  She is also going through this right now.  Tis the season.  I won't go into her ARD's and IEP's and BIP's (Behavioral Intervention Plan) because that is her business to share or not...but I will say, I feel ya Gurl.   When making the best educational decision for your child and attending your ARD-you feel out numbered. 

And before you get into your car or mini-van...what ever, you feel like you are going to be fighting in a MMA match.  Your heart is pumping out of your eyeballs and you've got cotton mouth from drinking 20 cups of coffee.  You wonder if you should have taken your friend up on that offer for a Xanny.

At some point in the ARD you wanna say AW HELL NO, MY SON WILL NOT RIDE THE BUS AT 5:45 IN THE MORNING OR BE IN THE APPLE UNIT.   But you don't because you're the parent and no one will take you seriously if you do.

 Urgh...and don't forget...DON'T. CRY.   At least I try not to .But just in case I do I bring my own tissues I don't want to be patronized.  AND I wear water proof mascara.

After it all, I day dream that my husband said things like this before and after these meeting.  I bet you do too Bestie ;)

 Am I right?