Kindergarten (again)

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We made it.  First week back to school under our belts.  Teachers. Parents. Daycare.  We did it!  


Okay...I would like to say  that this is the first year of all the school years (for N-Zilla) that I the mom have had a positive-fabulous-optimistic- and all the happy words in the thesaurus experience with A) new school B) new teacher and  C) first week.

*Back track
Lets go back to the end of last school year May ARD.  In this ARD we made the decision that N-Zilla would continue another year in Kindergarten. In his scenario I think it would benefit him and after a few years of trial and error in the IEP process towards the end of last school year I felt very comfortable with the ARD team. I was being heard and I was hearing them. We all had the best interest of N-Zilla. I took classes at ANY BABY CAN and Brighton ECI with Janet Fitzhugh to understand better the ARD process, my rights and responsibilities as the parent and N-Zilla's rights. I got to know the Spec Ed teacher, the OT therapist, the speech therapist, and most of the other members of the ARD committee.  We worked really hard on N-Zilla's new IEP. Most ARD meetings are not like your typical parent/teacher meeting. They can last few hours and in some cases weeks if it is "tabled".

*Fast Foward
N-Zilla is now at his home campus. He is in his 2nd year of kinder and at meet the teacher night I felt relief. (Little fun fact N-Zilla's Kinder Teacher was my daughters Kinder teacher back in the day aka 2008.) 
Every year the school picks a theme for the year one year it was gardens/flowers, next was safari.  This year-Super Hero! Yes Super Hero.  What a way to peek N-Zilla's interest.
Now for the best part of all...N-Zilla's Teacher.  She read his IEP.  Yes, those things in the ARD.  That thing that I and the rest of the ARD committee worked so hard on last school year.  She read the ARD!  Mrs. C was being Proactive instead of reactive.  Sounds small especially at Meet the Teacher Night but it made a difference.  Many times I hear, "He seems fine to me" or "He looks normal" or "Tons of kids do that" or "Are you sure it's not just you" Or "cut the cord mom".   I take these statements with a spoon of sugar and as a compliment because it means that I and all the people on N-Zilla's team are proactive not reactive. It means that in 6 years I've learned to think like N-Zilla and so does his Kinder teacher.  It means that OT therapy and Speech therapy twice a week does wonders. Shout out to Miss Jenny and Mrs. Megan!

A huge shout out to Ms. C!  Walking into the class room visions of Ryan Gosling with his thumbs up wearing reading glasses saying it's gonna be cool Adee, it's gonna be cool. She had his space ready for him on the carpet and his desk.  Even the spot for his pack-back or as I use to call it the pack-pack.  It was perfect. Knowing what to expect daily and having a visual is N-Zilla's method of operation.

Added bonus, because my older kids went to this Elementary I am familiar with some of the staff. Like Son Number One's 3rd grade and Tag teacher. So comforting really she's the best.  Yes the best.
I've got a good feeling about this year. Not every day is gonna be all the positive words in the Thesaurus. Some weeks are gonna end with a bottle of Wine and NetFlix for either me or Ms. C (or both) but I feel so good and safe that lines of communication are open, N-Zilla's has eyes around the school, and most of all Ms. C is his teacher and what we don't know we will learn together.

            

                                         

Parent Tool Box Part 1

No more emergency cards to fill out and first day pictures to post.  The honeymoon is over.  We are in the 2nd week of Kindergarten.  Shit just got real.

I've known this day was coming as soon as I signed N-Zilla up for Kindergarten.  The notes came home today.  In short, it was not a good day for N-Zilla.

BUT today is the first day I used the tools and picture aids I got from Any Baby Can RFFA (Reaching Families Facing Autism) classes a 100%.  Since last Thursday I have started to use them.  Setting them up around the house.  Taking the wait card  and First/Then card with me in town.  Using it when we went out to eat Saturday.  I've been using it bits and pieces through out the day.

In the morning I have a picture schedule for N-Zilla.  Life got hectic the end part of last week and the first part of this week.  It's gonna be Thursday and I still have the case of the Monday's.   When days or weeks are like this...I fall behind on the picture schedules and schedules in general.

Since Monday I could see something boiling at the surface and sure enough the notes came today.    It's clear to me more now then ever that I have to stick to a schedule and everybody involved with N-Zilla has to be on board.  More social stories.  More visual cues. More patients.  More. More. More.

Today after I picked N-Zilla up from school and drying off from being stuck in the 10 minute rain storm  I used my notes from the RFFA class and tool box.  Next post I will be able to show you pictures.  I can't right now because my phone doesn't hold a charge because it was dropped in the toilet over the summer and in another part of the world a butterfly flapped it's wings.

Hopefully keeping up with the post will keep me on track and put the pressure on to use all his visual cues, social stories etc.

So...

Wednesday Evening:

•  Used "Wait Card".
•  N-Zilla used his cards for his First/Then.  First Snack. Then Homework.  
•  No yelling from me (mom) at homework time.  
•  Used token system.  Worked towards computer time.
•  Multitask. While N-Zilla was on computer caught up with Crazy Horse and drew out a social story for shower time.   While cooking dinner made a grocery list and diner menu with Son #1. Sang little mermaid songs for Talulah while laminating Shower Time social story. 
• First/Then cue to get N-Zilla ready to take a shower.
• Taped social story in shower wall.  Had N-Zilla follow sequence.  Mentally pat myself on back.
• Used Visual cue card for sleep to get N-Zilla to bed (my bed).  Sat in dark with him until he fell asleep.   End time 8pm.  He fell asleep 5 hrs earlier then he had in the past 5 days.  

  

Rant's and Rave's and IEP's

It's that time of year again. ARD.   We get to go over N-Zilla's IEP. For of you that don't know A.R.D stands for Admissions. Review. Dismissal.  and IEP is Individual Education Plan.  

When N-Zilla's PPCD (Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities) pre-k teacher, Mrs J taught him last year the ARD's were a piece of gluten free cake.    Now...not so much.  I will never forget a private conversation we had earlier this year (Mrs. J was moved to a different elementary school...I was told that the PPCD program had closed and N-Zilla's wonderful teacher had to move) with Mrs. J.  Earlier in the year around October, the ARD committee wanted to have N-Zilla move to another campus that had a PPCD program in place since the one where he was at was closing.   I disagreed.  For many reasons.  Mostly how they closed the program and moved a wonderful teacher was wrong.  On a Thursday she was told that Friday she would be moving to another school.  And how it screwed N-Zilla.   I disagreed, and disagreed some more.  Finally after many phone calls.  Searching on the Web, reading and reading the IDEA parent booklet, late night convo's,coffee and tears with the Bestie AND speaking with a advocate, it was decided that staying at his current school would be the LRE (Least Restrictive Environment) for N-Zilla.  At work I ran into Mrs. J and we talked about the situation.  I told her that I couldn't believe it was going to be this hard to be heard and make a decision for my son.  I will never forget the words that she said to me, "It's only going to get harder.  You've got to be prepared and continue to be N-Zilla's advocate".

Gulp.   She was right.  I was kinda hoping that the whole N-Zilla get's to stay debacle was a one time thing.  This is our first ARD after the great ARD of  October and it is just as heated.  

N-Zilla will be going to Kindergarten next fall...he currently is the only PPCD student at his present school and our home campus is not "PPCD qualified" or has the "PPCD qualified staff" equipet to service N-Zilla so it's being told to me.  It is being suggested strongly that N-Zilla attends an other campus that is PPCD "ready".  He will be in a General Ed class with a kinder teacher and a Para-Aid (Paraprofessional), the Spec Ed teacher will over-see his progress and be a resource for his Kinder teacher. I can not understand why this can not happen at his home campus.  N-Zilla can not be the only student that has PPD-NOS (Pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified) or has ASD ( Autism Spectrum Disorder).  N-Zilla can not be the only student at our home campus that needs Spec Ed resources.  He just can't be the only one!

(just breath Adee...just breath)

I have a very dear friend...I refer to her as The Bestie.  She is also going through this right now.  Tis the season.  I won't go into her ARD's and IEP's and BIP's (Behavioral Intervention Plan) because that is her business to share or not...but I will say, I feel ya Gurl.   When making the best educational decision for your child and attending your ARD-you feel out numbered. 

And before you get into your car or mini-van...what ever, you feel like you are going to be fighting in a MMA match.  Your heart is pumping out of your eyeballs and you've got cotton mouth from drinking 20 cups of coffee.  You wonder if you should have taken your friend up on that offer for a Xanny.

At some point in the ARD you wanna say AW HELL NO, MY SON WILL NOT RIDE THE BUS AT 5:45 IN THE MORNING OR BE IN THE APPLE UNIT.   But you don't because you're the parent and no one will take you seriously if you do.

 Urgh...and don't forget...DON'T. CRY.   At least I try not to .But just in case I do I bring my own tissues I don't want to be patronized.  AND I wear water proof mascara.

After it all, I day dream that my husband said things like this before and after these meeting.  I bet you do too Bestie ;)

 Am I right?