Empathy.

Children and Adults on the spectrum do not lack the ability to have empathy.  Sometimes it is just a matter of knowing how to communicate or show the emotion. 

• Cognitive Empathy- The ability t predict other's thoughts and intentions including the ability to read between the lines during communication

• Affective empathy- The ability to share another person's feelings with them

• Compassionate Empathy- The desire to help others.

When N-Zilla was very small and didn't have the communication skills that he has now I was sad that maybe possibly I would never hear my son say that he loved me. I obsessed if he would even know how. I use to be hung up on those things. I'm gonna say it...I was so dumb then. It didn't take me very long to get over it.  Recently, at the beginning of the school year N-Zilla did something completely inappropriate at school. Still to this day I don't know why he did what he did. (I don't know if it was AU or ADHD or OCD or a bad day or whatever.) After talking to his (wonderful) teacher I did my walk of shame back to the car all the while N-Zilla was talking about Minecraft. I asked him if he did what he did. He said yes blanked faced a bit annoyed that I interrupted him. As soon as we all got settled in the car (minivan. Barf)  I turned to him and the tears poured over. I ugly cried. I managed to ask N-Zilla why he did what he did. He couldn't give me a answer. What he did next made me cry even more but this time tears of happiness. He unbuckled and gave me a hug and wiped my tears, "I'm sorry mommy". "Mommy, you sad"?

Sometimes when he is eating he walks up to me and gives me a piece of his food without saying a word.  Just last night while I was watching T.V N-Zilla came up to me, licked his finger and made the sign of the cross on my forehead.  I just went with it. I know that N-Zilla may not have Cognitive Empathy but I know with all of my heart that he has the ability to share another person's feelings with them and the desire to help others. Everything in life Autistic or not boils down to communication.  


*Here are links to post about AU and Empathy.

http://www.defyingthespectrum.com/2013/02/14/mythbuster-children-with-autism-are-affectionate/
http://www.defyingthespectrum.com/2014/04/25/autism-empathy-myth-day-2530-going-beyond-autism-awareness-2014/

THE ONE. THE ONLY. N-ZILLA

Just a little picture of this handsome guy.  He's counting down the days until his 6th birthday.

Obsession Sundays #3

It's not Sunday or even Monday...but the picture was taken on Sunday with the intention of posting.  

So welcome to Sunday Obsession Mine Craft edition

Going on a Plane.

K...Vlogging is kinda a weird experience.

Any who...tomorrow we are flying.   I knew that I was going back home in the summer but the timing was a little different then expected.  I have been packing.  Sewing (I don't know why). Going to Speech and O.T visits. Washing clothes.  Calling Doctors etc.  And trying to entertain my 3 and 4 y/o.  It's been busy.

Among all the excitement I've forgotten to prepare N-Zilla for the airport.  For the past 3 days we have been talking about the Airport and looking at pictures of flying in a plane... I got some helpful links from fellow AU parents at MyAutismTeam.com. http://www.autismspeaks.org/sites/default/files/documents/family-services/chantal.pdf  and http://www.parentnetworkwny.org/documents/CASE/Planes%20and%20Autism.pdf.  I also went on http://www.sanantonio.gov/SAT.aspx

Today I will be finishing packing.  Any last minute things hopefully I will get done today because we have two last appointments before our vacation begins.  Not sure what exactly to bring for N-Zilla's Sensory Diet but I have all of today to figure it out (insert happy face here).  See you guys soon!

*Think of a sensory diet as a goody bag.  Things that will prevent melt downs. That are planned activities and items that are meant to sooth.   N-Zilla is a sensory seeking kind of guy so he will have a lot of sensory input goodies. 

...good things too...

 

As stressful as this whole ARD/IEP business has been, their have been lots of good things too.

Like this morning...N-Zilla stayed home from school today and while I checked my email he got a wire (from I don't know where) and pretended to go fishing.  He came up to me with his imaginary catch and asked me if I was hungry.  This is kinda of a amazing thing.  Spontaneous imagination isn't something that N-Zilla does much.  I cried the first time he pretend to take a picture with a plastic container.  Everything before that was trains, trains, train. 

AND...

Last week we missed the bus.  Meaning N-Zilla and I stayed up way to late and I hit the snooze button one to many times.   Before getting myself to work, I took Talulah to daycare, dropped off Crazy Horse at school, and was on my way to take N-Zilla to school  4 exits away.  We saw a stray dog when N-Zilla said, " Oh Mommy a puppy. He he he sad. He he he mom sad.  Puppy need look for him mommy and him daddy. He he he need 'em".   He was having a conversation with me about something.  And it was WONDERFUL!   Before that it has been very rare that he has any conversations with me about anything other then his likes.  This was the first time at 4 1/2 years old that N-Zilla talked to me about something that was happening.   It was unexpected.  I played it cool not wanting to embarrass him.  I just carried on with the conversation but inside I felt as if I was watching him walk across a stage getting an award or graduating.  That  was how much pride I felt for my little boy.  

AND...

A few weekends ago, I was folding laundry (again) and in the corner of my eye I saw N-Zlla walk into the restroom lift the toilet seat and go to the restroom.  By himself.  I heard the faucet turn off.  N-Zilla walked to me and this is how our conversation went:

N-Zilla: I boy

Me:     Yes, yes you are a boy  

N-Zilla: I bust da Gems

Me: You bust the jams?    

N-Zilla: NO! da gems da gems I bust da gems.

Me: Do you mean you washed your hands?

N-Zilla: Yes I bust da gems! (lifts hands )

Me: You washed your hand and washed off the germs?

N-Zilla: Yes!

Me: Oh! well, good job then.

This was huge!  He went to the bathroom by himself.  I usually have alarms on my phone to remind me that he needs to sit on the toilet.  He washed his hands by himself AND told me about it.  Another proud moment. 

So yeah...ARDS are stressful, having strict routines to follow stresses me out but lots of good things are happening too. 

  

Team N-Zilla Walk for Autism

                            Team N-Zilla

 Dear Family and Friends, We are not sure if you know by now, chances are if you are on fb you have seen some of the ups and downs and humor …Our son Enso is on the Autism Spectrum.  In the past Ramon and I have been vague about it only our closes Friends and family have known and at times we have held back.  Simply because AU can be confusing to parents and we didn't want to have to explain or defend our son.   In the past 3 years we have found out things that help and not help Enso.  He has been in ECI, PPCD Pre-K and most recently Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Physical Therapy.  

Like all our children, we are very proud of our Enso.  He has taught all of us so much.  Wednesday and Zen are great and I would like to say because of Enso they have more patients then the average pre teen/teen. And We all have a better sense of humor.

Enso has also educated us.  Before we had Enso Autism was foreign bad word.    Now being parents with a child on the spectrum we know a few things: 1) Autism isn’t a death sentence.  Early intervention has helped us so much. 2) 1 in 88 children and 1 in 54 boys are on the Autism Spectrum.  3).   Autism, well having similarities…it’s not a one size fits all disorder.    

This year we are Walking For Autism with Any Baby Can.  Any Baby can (anybabycansa.org)is non-profit organization that is a great resource for families and their children with special needs.  They have helped us and this year we want to give back.  Join Team N-Zilla and Walk with us or Donate.   Go to https://secure.getmeregistered.com/homepage.php?id=4642 to join or donate.  It’s a great cause and a great way to educate. With statistics like 1-88 chances are you know or love someone on the spectrum.

Thank you

Ramon and Adee