How I feel about the Holiday Schedule.

When N-Zilla's daily schedule is thrown off because of the holiday schedule but I really want him to enjoy holiday schedule.  

7 things you should know...

Revised: 2/25/2016

Recently I have been attending a Parent Group at N-Zilla's place of therapy. I'm all about mental health so when a fellow Pediatrics Therapy Associates parent came up with the idea of a parent support group I did what I always do. First I talked myself out of it then I talked myself into it. I've been going for a while now. Maybe a month or so. I see myself in all the ladies sitting in a circle laughing or crying or crying from laughing  and it got me thinking about(at least)7 things you should know about parents(especially mothers)of children with special needs.

1. We are have a sense of humor.

We are freak'n hilarious. We can laugh at ourselves, our situation, and appreciate others.

2. We run late.

Not all the time. Maybe it's just me. I don't know. We have great intentions of getting "there" on time but poop, pee, meltdowns, spouse came home late, traffic or time didn't freeze keeps us from getting "there" on time.

3. We are smart.

We are all kinds of smart. We have to be with/for our kids. Something tells me that we were smart before we had children. Book smarts. Street smart. Heck...we've got all the 9 smarts (it's a thing. I

google it) But not so smart that we (I) constantly make grammar and punctuation mistakes. See this.

4. We are the best at making lemons into lemonade.

Also making fermented grapes into wine. Whatever. The point is we definitely know how to roll with the punches and come out stronger, smarter, and funnier.

5. We do but we don't

...revolve around our child's diagnoses. It's so much a part of our life. True-but we also have other interest. Like, why did Jimmy (Evan Peters) sing Nirvana on last week's AHS Freak show (horrible) or will I ever perfect Beyonce's 711 before next girls night?

6. Our booty may be thick but our skin isn't (mostly).

Yes.  We've learned to roll with the punches. We've read everything about our child's ability. I mean everything. The good. The bad. The ill informed but some days our emotions are right under the surface. One tiny thing could open the floodgates.  

7. We are human.

The most important. We are human. So often as mothers and caregivers especially to children with special needs we lose ourselves. Could it be avoided? I'm not sure. With the weekly sometimes daily shuttles to and from therapy appointments and doctor visits, timed and scheduled everything to be pro-active for our children's needs, being 5 steps ahead and wondering what we could have done differently when things didn't work out. We could get lost in the fog. Forget ourselves. Barely remembering to shower. Sometimes a hug, a phone call, a grown-up dinner without ear muffs is all we need. We need our significant others to see us for all our qualities 1-7 and be human with us.

Boom. Encouragement.

Therapy Thursday

Lot's of good feelings going on. 

N-Zilla in the waiting room doing pretend play.  It's kinda a big deal and it's happening more and more!   

N-Zilla and Luminaria.

Beautiful.

Kindergarten (again)

. 

We made it.  First week back to school under our belts.  Teachers. Parents. Daycare.  We did it!  


Okay...I would like to say  that this is the first year of all the school years (for N-Zilla) that I the mom have had a positive-fabulous-optimistic- and all the happy words in the thesaurus experience with A) new school B) new teacher and  C) first week.

*Back track
Lets go back to the end of last school year May ARD.  In this ARD we made the decision that N-Zilla would continue another year in Kindergarten. In his scenario I think it would benefit him and after a few years of trial and error in the IEP process towards the end of last school year I felt very comfortable with the ARD team. I was being heard and I was hearing them. We all had the best interest of N-Zilla. I took classes at ANY BABY CAN and Brighton ECI with Janet Fitzhugh to understand better the ARD process, my rights and responsibilities as the parent and N-Zilla's rights. I got to know the Spec Ed teacher, the OT therapist, the speech therapist, and most of the other members of the ARD committee.  We worked really hard on N-Zilla's new IEP. Most ARD meetings are not like your typical parent/teacher meeting. They can last few hours and in some cases weeks if it is "tabled".

*Fast Foward
N-Zilla is now at his home campus. He is in his 2nd year of kinder and at meet the teacher night I felt relief. (Little fun fact N-Zilla's Kinder Teacher was my daughters Kinder teacher back in the day aka 2008.) 
Every year the school picks a theme for the year one year it was gardens/flowers, next was safari.  This year-Super Hero! Yes Super Hero.  What a way to peek N-Zilla's interest.
Now for the best part of all...N-Zilla's Teacher.  She read his IEP.  Yes, those things in the ARD.  That thing that I and the rest of the ARD committee worked so hard on last school year.  She read the ARD!  Mrs. C was being Proactive instead of reactive.  Sounds small especially at Meet the Teacher Night but it made a difference.  Many times I hear, "He seems fine to me" or "He looks normal" or "Tons of kids do that" or "Are you sure it's not just you" Or "cut the cord mom".   I take these statements with a spoon of sugar and as a compliment because it means that I and all the people on N-Zilla's team are proactive not reactive. It means that in 6 years I've learned to think like N-Zilla and so does his Kinder teacher.  It means that OT therapy and Speech therapy twice a week does wonders. Shout out to Miss Jenny and Mrs. Megan!

A huge shout out to Ms. C!  Walking into the class room visions of Ryan Gosling with his thumbs up wearing reading glasses saying it's gonna be cool Adee, it's gonna be cool. She had his space ready for him on the carpet and his desk.  Even the spot for his pack-back or as I use to call it the pack-pack.  It was perfect. Knowing what to expect daily and having a visual is N-Zilla's method of operation.

Added bonus, because my older kids went to this Elementary I am familiar with some of the staff. Like Son Number One's 3rd grade and Tag teacher. So comforting really she's the best.  Yes the best.
I've got a good feeling about this year. Not every day is gonna be all the positive words in the Thesaurus. Some weeks are gonna end with a bottle of Wine and NetFlix for either me or Ms. C (or both) but I feel so good and safe that lines of communication are open, N-Zilla's has eyes around the school, and most of all Ms. C is his teacher and what we don't know we will learn together.

            

                                         

Summer is Almost Over

Oh Summer.  We hardly knew ye.

Well...that's not entirely true.  Of course the summer solstice comes and goes regardless AND we did some things AND school doesn't officially start until the 25th.  We mostly hung out at home this summer.  Occasional BBQ. Lots of swimming. Of course staying on schedule.  Nope, that last sentence was a lie.  Really truly a lie.  I've stuck to a very basic vague schedule and haven't been keeping up with N-Zilla's school work.  The most accomplished thing this summer is getting N-Zilla to sleep in his own bed and at his school schedule time.  Lots of Minecraft and Netflix.  Not my proudest moment as a mother but we sure did relax.  I think we all needed that. 

So crash course on 123's, ABC's, night time schedules, and ARD's.  Plus we'll get to enjoy the last 3 weeks of our summer vacation.  Here's to N-Zilla. You're gonna have an awesome school year...now let's watch The Crood's 50 more times before August 25th. 

THE ONE. THE ONLY. N-ZILLA

Just a little picture of this handsome guy.  He's counting down the days until his 6th birthday.

No more pencils. No more books. No more teacher's dirty looks.

I don't know about you all but I am diffidently ready for the school year to be over.  This year it really felt like it came and went so fast.  I'm still working on our night time routine.  I still haven't figured out if it's better that I take a shower at night or morning to save time.  I'm pretty sure I have a laundry basket of clean clothes from September that I have to put away.

I need a breather.  I need a break from the emails and the letters and the ARDS and cue cards.  Not to mention the beast that is 6th grade.  I'm ready for that grade to be over with.  It's like a tooth ache.  2 down 2 more to go.
Honestly sometimes I find myself feeling angry.  I just want my kiddo to enjoy kindergarten the way I did.  The way I think I did. The way kids should?

I don't see N-Zilla enjoying school.  Not even a babble of what happened at recesses.  When I ask him how school was his immediate reply is, "I didn't get in trouble".  That's sad.  That makes me sad.  Tons of sad face emoticons.  TONS!

So this summer we are staying home.  Our house. Getting to enjoy a much needed break.

Tomorrow is a new day.  Next school year is a new school year and we are still us but we will be rested. Focused.  Appreciating who we are and what our life is.  I will be doing more of the soul searching-I'm sure-while the kids will be happy to sleep in (mostly).

Obsession Sundays #3

It's not Sunday or even Monday...but the picture was taken on Sunday with the intention of posting.  

So welcome to Sunday Obsession Mine Craft edition

Obsession Sundays #2

ob·ses·sion  [uhb-sesh-uhn] 

noun

1. 

the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

2.

the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.

3.

the state of being obsessed.

4.

the act of obsessing.

Origin: 
1505–15;  < Latin obsessiōn-  (stem of obsessiō ) blockade, siege, equivalent to obsess ( us ) (see obsess) +-iōn- -ion

Obsession Sundays. Our newest obsession.

ob·ses·sion

  [uhb-sesh-uhn] 

noun

1.

the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

2.

the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.

3.

the state of being obsessed.

4.

the act of obsessing.

Origin: 
1505–15;  < Latin obsessiōn-  (stem of obsessiō ) blockade, siege, equivalent to obsess ( us ) (see obsess) +-iōn- -ion

Dictionary.com 

Meet Steve.  Steve is from Mind Craft.  For the record I know absolutely nothing about Mind Craft except for the fact that it's N-Zilla's new obsession.  Which means it's now mine.  Which means some how it will be worked into his "sensory diet.

This funny thing happens when your kid is obsessed with something...it drives you-the parent-crazy.  Or just me.  I am not by nature a fanatical person.  I don't understand  it, but N-Zilla does and like a lot of things that goes with being a parent and/or a parent of a child with AU...I love it because he loves it.  If I don't embrace I will destruct...so when in Rome or Mind Craft do as Steve and N-Zilla do.  

If you've met one person...Then you've met one person.

Their is a saying that if you've met one person with Autism then you've met one person with Autism.  This is true.  If so-and-so's brother's sister's cousin who is Autistic didn't like the texture of pizza doesn't mean N-Zilla doesn't like pizza.  In fact his taste/smell/texture aversion is to anything turkey, thyme, and mash potatoes.  I made the mistake of making N-Zilla eat mash potatoes once and had to clean up the mess that followed.  
I know that I'm being sensitive to or have lost my patients with certain comments like: I knew someone with Autism and so-and-so didn't do that or He does so well for having you know or Doesn't seem like their is anything wrong with him. These statments makes me frustrated and angry...and I get tired of being the front woman for AU, Sensory Processing Disorder etc. All I know is that I am an expert on N-Zilla and a very bad one at that.   I know you mean well or just don't know what's ok or not ok to say.  That's why I smile and nod or politely respond with a vague answer.  If I have the energy I will go in detail.  I will save my bitching for the car ride home or blog about it later.

N-Zilla in the City

Last weekend my cousin came to SA to visit.  We took her to Market Square and played at the Playground next to the Children's Hospital Santa Rosa.  We walked around had Corn-in-a-Cup enjoyed each others company.  It was a super happy day.