A little break down and Shades of Gray

A little break down on N-Zilla...Loveable and Destructive.

About six months after N-Zilla  was born I went to my Doctor for P.P.D .  As an infant he was colicky more so then my other children but a little like Crazy Horse (9 year old Daughter).  As a younger toddler lots of things were getting broken or eaten in my house.  Lots and Lots of sleepless nights.  Tried to do the same activities I did with the older two with him, but he didn't like touching paint.  So no weekly fridge paintings.  N-Zilla was a bit more Va-Voom as Grandma Big Bear likes to say or Alie Oop Like Grandpa Big Bear likes to say. I never gave to much thought to it because for the most part little N-Zilla was overall a happy baby.


N-Zilla takes a little assessment .  Comes to our attention that N-Zilla isn't speaking as much as he's suppose to.  August 2010 N-Zilla begains Eci. Notice that N-Zilla likes trains obsessively.  Repeats words and has certain characteristics of Sensory Processing Disorder.   Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather come to the house 4 times a week.  Once for speech, once for reinforcement of speech session and interactive, and twice for behavior and parent education (how to work with your spd child and to be honest I feel that I work well with N-Zilla and I have my SPD tools, but it's nice to have someone to talk to and who isn't fazed by a kid hanging at my neck and ramming me with his head in my gut).  We just keep on talking.  It's always nice to have adult contact).


(Start a blog(s) if nothing else it would make me feel better and get some confusion of my chest and help myself, family, and friends understand N-Zilla, although I want to make it clear N-Zilla is so much more the SPD.  It isn't who he is it's just a part of our life).


  At first the blog(s) kinda made some waves with in-laws, but by making my blog(s) I was able to find lot of helpful, useful, and funny resources.  Like the  SPD Blogger Network and SPD foundation, and many other blogs of families that have sensational kids and find humor in their life.  Before this I would have never thought to search Sensory Processing Disorder on Face Book.


Getting ready to transition out of Eci and to possible pre-school.  I fill out all the paper work and set a date with the school district to see if N-Zilla qualifies for pre-school or speech therapy at the least through the school district.


(mean while Mr. S and I haven't really talked about SPD.  I sense that it makes him feel uncomfortable which makes me annoyed.  I feel more and more alienated because I know that my Loveable and Destructive son needs just a little bit more of a push.  I can't put my finger on it, But often it makes me feel helpless, confused and frustrated). 


Went to the (first) speech assessment at the school district.  I thought it went good and I was almost positive that he wasn't gong to qualify for speech therapy and preschool.  Later that week I got a phone call from Mrs. Coker saying, "Could you bring N-Zilla in, I have some concerns and would like to rule out Autism".  Wow I didn't see that coming.  Brought it up to Mr. S and it didn't go to well.


Went to second assessment.  Again I thought it went good.  It seemed all very normal to me.  A week later got a phone call to go over the points.  I'll give you the very brief answer as I was on the phone for an hour with Mr. Wagner about the results.


It seems that N-Zilla is in a gray area or Possible or At Risk.  I heard those last two phrase a lot.  He got a 88 out of 100 in the Autistic scale so that puts him at Possible for a learning disability.  I strongly feel that it is SPD.    Looks like N-Zilla will be going to preschool (I will find out next Thursday which by the way will be the first time Mr. S will be taking the little ones to the Doctors all by himself), and every year we will have a ARD about the N-Zilla.  By his 6 birthday we will have a meeting to see if he needs to continue special education or with general education.  Phew that was lot to stay.  I'm sure I'm leaving some things out, but will make for a better post later. 


Went over results with Mr. S again didn't go so well.  It really does seem that he doesn't want to know what is going on.  But I need him to be on board here.  Especially when it come to our Sensory Diet.  Even though we talked about it I don't think Mr. S is fully accepting everything that is going on.  


As funny as it sounds...I feel like we have a game plan, and that makes me feel so much better.

Where was I...Oh yeah; Black eye, School District, and Moon Sand

It is now 6:13pm and I think we left of somewhere around 12 or 1.  I can't be sure.  The house is silent except for the sound of my playlist The Baby crawling around.  N-Zilla is actually asleep, the T.V is off, Crazy Horse is at her friends, Mr. S and Son #1 are at Base ball practice.

I will totally take advantage of this time to blog, shower and watch reality T.V.

As many blogs that have been neglected for a while, I will start off with...I've been busy...lots have happened etc...etc...etc.

First off I recently realized at N-Zilla's last speech session that the next one will be his last.  He will be turning three in July.  No more ECI for him. No more Flora, Fauna, and Merry-weather (The names are from Disneyland Sleeping Beauty. The three fairy's that helped Princess Aurora's parents in their time of need.  That's how I see these ladies).  I got a little sad when "Flora" looked through her calender to schedule for next month.  This year has gone by to fast.  I'm not ready to let go of my training wheels that give me the courage and reassurance.  And most of all some balance I need.

This particular day didn't go so well.  Mostly Flora and I talked because I double booked yet again (unknowingly).  Earlier that day N-Zilla had his (2nd) assessment with the school district.  I was pretty optimistic.  N-Zilla is speaking more word and saying them clear.  I was sure they were going to say, "N-Zilla's mom, your boy does not need early pre-school because he is a talking genius"!, "You really did jump the gun putting him in ECI, no you and N-Zilla go and enjoy the rest of your week".   N-Zilla even walked into the building confident.  He walked down the hall talking all sorts of jargon.  This letting me know he felt comfortable.

During the assessment I sat at the "parent" table.  I did good.  I totally paid no attention to N-Zilla and the Speech Pathologist.  I pulled out my phone logged on to the Daily Beast and Babble.  Caught up on some reading and emails.  But then the questions started. "Would you say he likes Thomas the Train or is he obsessed"?   "Is his behavior similar or different then your other children" ?  Great, why can't any specialist just give me a definite answer so I know what to do for my boy.  Honestly, I thought he did great.

At the end, the Speech Pathologist told me that she would add up the scores then give me a call.  Well, I got a call.  This time from another specialist.  Honestly, I don't know what type..she told me but I can't remember . (Oh if your wondering if the house is still quite...no.  It lasted about 30 minutes.  N-Zilla fell of the couch and has been crying for about 30 minutes for Thomas.  The baby is asleep and the girls are playing Just Dance).  She ended the conversation telling me that there were some concerns she had, and she wanted to rule out Autism.  Those words...that label.  How was I suppose to feel.

When your pregnant you dread to hear D word.  Down Syndrome. And after the baby is born you dread to hear the A word. Autistic.   I didn't feel either way when making the appointment for his assessment.  Hopefully this will be his last with the school district.  Shortly after getting off the phone my mind went racing.  What do you mean you have some concerns?  Didn't he answer your questions to the best of his 2 year old degree.  Didn't he interact with you how he is suppose to? Didn't he...?  I have gut feeling that his SPD had gotten the best of him that day.  What ever that means.  I kept on saying that he was two, and I was reminded that he would be turning three very shortly.  I called Mr. S to give him the 411.  I wish I hadn't.  It just upset him.  He said that their was nothing wrong with him.  I don't even think N-Zilla has Autism but I found myself defending Autistic Human Beings every where, "And so what if he is, their is nothing WRONG with that".  "People that have Autism are not wrong...he isn't broken".  We were having an argument before their was even papers signed for an assessment.  I had to end the conversation saying that well we are just ruling it out. Lets not jump to conclusions.    This was Wednesday.  He had the Speech assessment Monday.

Thursday Night I was whacked something awful by my N-Zilla.  We have been doing a new night time routine with him to get him to bed before the sun comes up for the new day.  So far it has been working. We are still in the trial run.  I will post our routine later.

Thursday night was a little rough but nothing too bad.  N-Zilla and I were taking pictures on my phone.  It was soothing to him, but the right went all wrong in seconds.  I wish I could show you a happy picture of us moments before I got a black eye, but I am trying to keep like Clark Kent.

N-Zilla my loveable and destructive 2 soon to be 3 year old yelled no, threw his head back and hit the brow of my eye.  Holy Moly, I saw stars.  I'm sure this is how it feels to be kicked in the testicles.  Not as bad as child birth but pretty painful.  I got nauseous, my jaw locked and I curled up in a ball.  Now I have been hit in my life time...but never like that.  The only thing that comes close to the hypothetical kick to the balls is being hit in the nose.   Now the only thing I have to worry about is when I go to Crazy Horse's game tomorrow, that I look like a battered women. 

Now to today.  Friday...MOON SAND.  This has been awesome for N-Zilla.  However, as loveable as he his he got a bit destructive with sand.  I didn't do our routine this morning.  I was a bad mommy.  I put on NetFlix for him so I could clean the house.

After putting a load of laundry in and putting the folded clothes in the kids room, I came around the corner to pink moon sand on the floor of N-Zilla's play area which also is The Baby's play area and family room AND is right next to the kitchen and my bed room door.  Phew, that was a lot of "ands".  I had to completely stop everything that I was doing.  The Baby wanted to be held and if I wasn't paying attention to the boy he would dump all the toys on the floor.  I should have saw it coming.  This morning he threw his plate of eggs on the floor then wrapped himself in his blanket.

So I put on 16 and Pregnant and things eventually calmed down.