It started off as venting but turned in to adoration.

  Walking around out side.  Can not sit in the cry room at church and have a limited time sitting with the other adults during mass.  In short...we go for lots of walks.

 N-Zillllllaaaaaa!  I was very sad this day.  My loveable and destructive adorable son (and his baby sister) broke my very last gift from my teaching days.  When am I ever gonna go to Viet Nam.  Or have an awesome student named Vivian from Viet Nam.?

N-Zillas fav pose 

 His fav subject.  ONLY!

..

N-Zilla's found a new quite place.  It's my quite place.  In addition of knocking over our patio furniture and his toy chest, he know knocks over my frames.

In addition of knocking over our patio furniture and his toy chest, he know knocks over my frames.

 Over...

and over.  Since he started last week I have put frames back in place about a dozen times a day.


Okay...I started writing this post to complain and convince myself that it's ok that my house looks like it's been ransacked and infested with Thomas the Trains and Lighting Mc Queens...but all I can think of is how cute my N-Zilla is.

N-Zilla broke a pepper shaker.

Today N-Zilla my Loveable and Destructive son threw a pepper shaker in a restaurant.  It broke.  Glass shattered everywhere.  Me, like the Rockefeller that I am asked to put it on my bill.

Their is more I want to write about this day.  Like...why did I not see it coming?  What set N-Zilla off?  Son #1 and Crazy Horse acted totally normal...why?  Why didn't I seem more surprised?

Later. Way later I had several mini panic attacks.  I didn't pack him a sensory bag.  I should of.  I was to lazy and double booked to make dinner.  I didn't want to be bothered with the cleaning of the mess.  I shoulda just made dinner at home.  I sent N-Zilla to school with underwear instead of pull-ups.  I made him sit on the toilet this morning when he didn't want to.  I put him on the bus and didn't give him his weighted blanket, and I was still late to work.  I didn't tell him that he was going to his Grandma's house after school.  I hid his trains so he wouldn't get over whelmed....so me and his older siblings didn't have to deal with the mess of a dumped out toys box.  He found them anyways. I should have prepared better for the day.

(Upside of today: 1) We didn't get kicked out of the restaurant like we did at China Moon.  2)Despite the broken glass it was a very pleasant meal with Son #1 and Crazy Horse.  Because I didn't dwell on the broken glass to long, I got to hear about their day at school. 3) No dishes to wash at home.

It's not that easy to blog about N-Zilla.

N-Zilla.  What can I say.

Lately I have been more comfortable writing about my mishaps and musings at the other blog then I am writing about my N-Zilla.

I think sometimes I just don't want to think of anything else but "normal stuff" when it comes to N-Zilla.  Still...sometimes I cry when I see him hit a mile stone or realize a delay.

As they say "don't get it twisted".  My Loveable and Destructive son is still as loveable and destructive as ever. A broken wine glass is proof.

I just have this anxiety about him.  For him.

I have this habit of planning months ahead for things.  Like birthdays.  Feb is Crazy Horses.  March Is Mr. S's. April is Tiger Lily's (the baby).  And two months later is N-Zilla's and Son #1.

I have like 4 or 5 months until N-Zilla's Birthday.  Yet I'm freaking out.

I want to include family and friends without excluding him.

I've got a brillant idea for a birthday party for the Loveable N-Zilla from my cousin.  So I'm sure things will be fine.

I see how he is at social gatherings.  He gets over stimulated.  Starts knocking things over or retreats.  Christmas and New Years (which I have yet to blog about).  Basket Ball games and such.  I see him.  I know him.  I think that is why I have birthday party anxiety.

Mr. S suggested we invite his friends from school.  I had to say it out loud to Mr. S, "N-Zilla doesn't have any friends".

"Well then...Just invite his whole class".

I wanted to ask if he was even present during New Years.

...but instead just drank my coffee and talked about how ugly our couches are.