A little break down and Shades of Gray

A little break down on N-Zilla...Loveable and Destructive.

About six months after N-Zilla  was born I went to my Doctor for P.P.D .  As an infant he was colicky more so then my other children but a little like Crazy Horse (9 year old Daughter).  As a younger toddler lots of things were getting broken or eaten in my house.  Lots and Lots of sleepless nights.  Tried to do the same activities I did with the older two with him, but he didn't like touching paint.  So no weekly fridge paintings.  N-Zilla was a bit more Va-Voom as Grandma Big Bear likes to say or Alie Oop Like Grandpa Big Bear likes to say. I never gave to much thought to it because for the most part little N-Zilla was overall a happy baby.


N-Zilla takes a little assessment .  Comes to our attention that N-Zilla isn't speaking as much as he's suppose to.  August 2010 N-Zilla begains Eci. Notice that N-Zilla likes trains obsessively.  Repeats words and has certain characteristics of Sensory Processing Disorder.   Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather come to the house 4 times a week.  Once for speech, once for reinforcement of speech session and interactive, and twice for behavior and parent education (how to work with your spd child and to be honest I feel that I work well with N-Zilla and I have my SPD tools, but it's nice to have someone to talk to and who isn't fazed by a kid hanging at my neck and ramming me with his head in my gut).  We just keep on talking.  It's always nice to have adult contact).


(Start a blog(s) if nothing else it would make me feel better and get some confusion of my chest and help myself, family, and friends understand N-Zilla, although I want to make it clear N-Zilla is so much more the SPD.  It isn't who he is it's just a part of our life).


  At first the blog(s) kinda made some waves with in-laws, but by making my blog(s) I was able to find lot of helpful, useful, and funny resources.  Like the  SPD Blogger Network and SPD foundation, and many other blogs of families that have sensational kids and find humor in their life.  Before this I would have never thought to search Sensory Processing Disorder on Face Book.


Getting ready to transition out of Eci and to possible pre-school.  I fill out all the paper work and set a date with the school district to see if N-Zilla qualifies for pre-school or speech therapy at the least through the school district.


(mean while Mr. S and I haven't really talked about SPD.  I sense that it makes him feel uncomfortable which makes me annoyed.  I feel more and more alienated because I know that my Loveable and Destructive son needs just a little bit more of a push.  I can't put my finger on it, But often it makes me feel helpless, confused and frustrated). 


Went to the (first) speech assessment at the school district.  I thought it went good and I was almost positive that he wasn't gong to qualify for speech therapy and preschool.  Later that week I got a phone call from Mrs. Coker saying, "Could you bring N-Zilla in, I have some concerns and would like to rule out Autism".  Wow I didn't see that coming.  Brought it up to Mr. S and it didn't go to well.


Went to second assessment.  Again I thought it went good.  It seemed all very normal to me.  A week later got a phone call to go over the points.  I'll give you the very brief answer as I was on the phone for an hour with Mr. Wagner about the results.


It seems that N-Zilla is in a gray area or Possible or At Risk.  I heard those last two phrase a lot.  He got a 88 out of 100 in the Autistic scale so that puts him at Possible for a learning disability.  I strongly feel that it is SPD.    Looks like N-Zilla will be going to preschool (I will find out next Thursday which by the way will be the first time Mr. S will be taking the little ones to the Doctors all by himself), and every year we will have a ARD about the N-Zilla.  By his 6 birthday we will have a meeting to see if he needs to continue special education or with general education.  Phew that was lot to stay.  I'm sure I'm leaving some things out, but will make for a better post later. 


Went over results with Mr. S again didn't go so well.  It really does seem that he doesn't want to know what is going on.  But I need him to be on board here.  Especially when it come to our Sensory Diet.  Even though we talked about it I don't think Mr. S is fully accepting everything that is going on.  


As funny as it sounds...I feel like we have a game plan, and that makes me feel so much better.

.....And on the fifth day there was Play!

THURSDAY...THE BABY'S 1ST BIRTHDAY

N-Zilla was awesome.  I remember when my oldest daughter (Crazy Horse) turned one, I had cupcakes for her and Son #1 wanted all the attention.  N-Zilla was happy playing by himself but he also played great with the other toddlers at the house.  No tantrums when the other kids touched his trains.  And he politely as much as a 2 year old loveable and destructive boy can, asked for a non-frosted cupcake.  (Side note: I think for N-Zilla's 3rd birthday I am going to make non-frosted cupcakes.)  After the candle were blown out, and all the hub-bub was around the table watching The Baby eat her cupcake, The N-Zilla grabbed his Thomas the Train blanket and sat on the couch.

FRIDAY....SEA WORLD

N-Zilla's first trip to Sea World San Antonio.  First stop...feed the dolphins.  We didn't feed the dolphins.  The line was to long but that didn't stop us from getting as close as we could do the dolphins.  I was a little embarrassed of my parental skills because my loveable and destructive two year old was yelling, " Ooooo, Fish"!  But given that he was only saying mom and dad  little less then a year ago...calling a mammal a fish seems acceptable.

   It got sticky twice during the day.  At the Bay of Play...we were sitting waiting to watch the show.  Ernie, Bert, Cookie Monster, and Zoe were gonna sing for the tots.  Mr. S and I let the big kids go off and do their own thing while we waited for live action Sesame Street.  Mr. S had The Baby, and I had N-Zilla.  Less then a few minutes into waiting and N-Zilla had had enough.  I looked around and saw all the other toddlers sitting..fidgeting a little, but N-Zilla was going into full blown destructive mode. I could see Mr. S trying to keep his patience.  So, once again I was the mom in the crowd of people; holding her son rocking back and forth, While Mr. S squeezed his arms and legs (that calms him down). The show started and commenced the N-Zilla dance-a-thon.

  Second sticky situation...Rosita's all you can eat buffet.  Usually N-Zilla carries his Thomas bag where ever he goes.  At restaurants, I usually sit him at a table by him self..he sets up his track and trains..then eats.  We didn't bring his bag to Sea World...First we had found a booth big enough for all the gang...but N-Zilla was gonna get destructive.  I didn't want to ruin lunch for everyone.  I sat N-Zilla at a table near everyone else.  Mr. S and I sat at the table with N-Zilla and The Baby.   I felt good that Mr. S chose to sit alienated with me.  He doesn't usually get to see this side of N-Zilla our very loveable and destructive son.  Once again N-Zilla was getting antsy...this time he grabbed my hand put them on his arm and made the motion for me to pinch his arm.  It wasn't too bad, their was a few kids who I'm sure didn't have sensory issues jumping over the booths.  Which made N-Zilla look loveable and docile.  

  I took the two younger ones to see the Shamu show (it's not called that but you know that I meant killer whale).  All in all it was a great first Trip to Sea World San Antonio.. Hopefully next time I will have a camera. 

not just the cell phone.

Picture taken by B.A Martin.  N-Zilla looking at the roller coaster.  

SATURDAY .....BIRTHDAY PARTY

This day not so good.  The older kids were invited to a birthday part of our close friends son.  We all went..cause..what the heck, it's good to get out of the house.  We went to ZTD's.  I don't know what that stands for but it's like a Scandia (in southern California).  Two steps into the door and I could tell that my boy was over whelmed.  Their was this sound that was driving him crazy...every time it went off N-Zilla covered his ears..

We left early...the big kids stayed with the guest of honor.






SUNDAY....EASTER

With out going to every detail...we went to the river for Easter...and N-Zilla was perfectly happy playing with his trains in the middle of the crowd.

Playing with his trains.  Picture taken by my crappy Black Berry

Sometime while making myself  a sandwich, N-Zilla decided to be a ninja and disappear. I looked up and he was gone  My biggest fear when at the river is that one of my kids will drown or a pedophile will kidnap them.  I started yelling out his name...turns out the boy was at the park...I wanted to cry...but instead I spanked him...(ya..I..know).

MONDAY....JUST ANOTHER DAY

Monday was just another day.  Except, today was the first time that I saw N-Zilla do pretend play! Even when he is playing with his moon sand, he some how makes it about trains.  However, today I was taking pictures of  The Baby....then N-Zilla picked up a container and started pretending to take pictures.  He made the sound of the flash and turned the container around to "look" at the picture.  I know that this doesn't sound like a big idea...but N-Zilla hasn't done pretend play outside of trains and cars for the past 2 1/2 years, so today was a milestone!  It just reminded me of how I took for granted these types of things when Crazy Horse and Son # 1 were babies.

N-Zilla pretending to take pictures

Of course he had to take pictures of his Thomas Trains.

Now that you mention it....

Sometimes when I find out information that confirms SPD in our family I get choked up..other times I tell my self that it is ok because N-Zilla will grow out of it.

Today was a day that I got choked up...I realized that maybe the reason why Crazy Horse never liked me to comb her was that she had SPD...it was a daily thing.  Every morning she would cry.  NO, not just cry...completely break down.. It sounded as if she was being tortured every time I took a brush to her head.  I always thought she as just being difficult.  Thinking of all the times I yelled at her for not letting me comb her hair made me feel so bad as a parent. Now Crazy Horse's hair is always short.

Also today,  I watched N-Zilla as he took a nap.  His little body was twitching the whole time...No wonder he hardly seems rested when he wakes up..I remember the speech therapist asking me if he moved a lot in his sleep.  I didn't really know because up until today I never watched sleep.  When ever the boy sleeps I try to catch a few Z's myself or do something productive around the house.

Oh well...here's to learning and growing as a parent..