When ARD'S/IEP's Go Right. My Top 5 for ARD'S and IEP's

*This post  is from April 2015 

No. Not really but this one wasn't that bad.

Annual IEP's and  if your in the state of Texas is one of the most stressful times for parents...but time I didn't have to wear water proof mascara. Nothing got Tabled (Tabled: Term used when ARD Committee can not agree and need to take a 10 day break then come back and hopefully a decision in the best interest for the child can be made). I wasn't secretly cursing out any part of the ARD committee. This school year has shown me that their is such a thing a constructive ARD (Admission. Renewal. Dismissal). Communication between N-Zilla's teacher and I are great. I didn't feel like I was being patronized. I really felt that we all had my son's best interest at heart. All together it only took 2 hrs. Yeah, even good ARD's take time.

Of course I still have mad anxiety leading up to the day of the ARD. It's kinda like going into a mediation for child custody. If you've never been then thank your lucky stars.

I'm not delusional to think that I will never have a difficult ARD again but I really do appreciate the Staff at Spring Meadows Elementary. N-Zilla and I have been blessed to have the teacher he has had this school year.

Here are some of my tips and suggestion to help with ARD's and IEP.

1. Communication. Communication. Communication.

Don't wait for an ARD/IEP meeting to talk about your concerns. I'm sure on average Ms. C and I are having a Parent/Teacher Conference once a month not to mention emails and text. I appreciate this. Tons.

2. Take notes and keep a paper trail.

 A parents brain is just a computer with several tabs open. Mine has a gazillion open. It's like    Pinterest on steroids. Taking notes helps me remember what you talked about in the parent    meeting last Tuesday.

 It also helps as a reference during ARDs. AND it shows progress or regression for your kiddo.

3. List. List. List.

Before going to the ARD make a list of what you would like to talk about. Your child's strengths and weaknesses.  For ex: I made a list of Accomplishments and Strengths and bullet point list to keep me on track.

• Evaluation from Doc
• Transition reminders
• BIP(I would like a Behavior Plan)
• Plan in place for sub
• Visual schedule and timers 
• seating arrangements for next year
• accommodations/modifications
• teacher recommendations for next year. 

4. Bring with you the most recent evaluation form Doctors and/or Therapist.

5. Ask questions. Communicate. 
You are the main B-I of the ARD committee. Don't every forget that.

I hope I can help any newbies or "oldbies" when it comes to ARD's. I wish all ARD's-mine and yours could be like the one I just had.

Here's to ARD's and water proof mascara. May the next one be just as good. 

N-Zilla's New Focus!

  

                          

                              Photo by N-ZIlla.

N-Zilla! Kinder Graduation ramble.

  N-Zilla did it. I only teared up once. You see those dark circles under my eyes? I had been up the night before until 3:40 am filled with anxiety. Truth be told my mind was pregnant with thoughts far more then my N-Zilla. But he did it! He held it together during the program. He had a bit of a "meltdown" when he left the stage. 

  It was loud and chaotic. He lost his visual. Me. I could hear him cry on the other end of the cafeteria. I felt like having a moment too. The more I hang out with N-Zilla I am more sensitive to large crowds and loud noises. 

  I decided to sign N-Zilla out early while waiting in the office a fellow parent point blank asked me what was wrong with N-Zilla? On the way home I had awesome zingers running through my head on what I could have said. anything other then what I did say. I just shrugged my shoulders and shook my head as to say nothings wrong. He's Autistic. That is exactly what I said. I think I was caught off guard and for a split second I didn't understand the question. Nothing is wrong with him. Then my need for advocacy and normalizing AU I  just said the A word. This parent just whispered loudly to her husband, "Oooohhhh he's Autistic". I should have said, "What the fuck does that mean"? 

"Why the emphasis on the 'O' "? I didn't of course. I excused myself and said some random happy summer good bye. I was a bit confused that this was actually happening. This wasn't a post on the Huff Post after all and I wasn't the mom that wrote a well written  open letter To The Lady In The Office who Asked What Was Wrong With My Son...

   Anyways back to the originally point of this post-MY SON DID IT! He accomplished so much this year. True, deep in my stomach I am going to obsess over the next coming grade while never letting N-Zilla or my husband know. As for right now I am going to soak in his accomplishments and stair at his pictures.  

When ARD'S/IEP's Go Right. My Top 5 for ARD'S and IEP's

*This post  is from April 2015 

No. Not really but this one wasn't that bad.

Annual IEP's and  if your in the state of Texas is one of the most stressful times for parents...but time I didn't have to wear water proof mascara. Nothing got Tabled (Tabled: Term used when ARD Committee can not agree and need to take a 10 day break then come back and hopefully a decision in the best interest for the child can be made). I wasn't secretly cursing out any part of the ARD committee. This school year has shown me that their is such a thing a constructive ARD (Admission. Renewal. Dismissal). Communication between N-Zilla's teacher and I are great. I didn't feel like I was being patronized. I really felt that we all had my son's best interest at heart. All together it only took 2 hrs. Yeah, even good ARD's take time.

Of course I still have mad anxiety leading up to the day of the ARD. It's kinda like going into a mediation for child custody. If you've never been then thank your lucky stars.

I'm not delusional to think that I will never have a difficult ARD again but I really do appreciate the Staff at Spring Meadows Elementary. N-Zilla and I have been blessed to have the teacher he has had this school year.

Here are some of my tips and suggestion to help with ARD's and IEP.

1. Communication. Communication. Communication.

Don't wait for an ARD/IEP meeting to talk about your concerns. I'm sure on average Ms. C and I are having a Parent/Teacher Conference once a month not to mention emails and text. I appreciate this. Tons.

2. Take notes and keep a paper trail.

 A parents brain is just a computer with several tabs open. Mine has a gazillion open. It's like    Pinterest on steroids. Taking notes helps me remember what you talked about in the parent    meeting last Tuesday.

 It also helps as a reference during ARDs. AND it shows progress or regression for your kiddo.

3. List. List. List.

Before going to the ARD make a list of what you would like to talk about. Your child's strengths and weaknesses.  For ex: I made a list of Accomplishments and Strengths and bullet point list to keep me on track.

• Evaluation from Doc
• Transition reminders
• BIP(I would like a Behavior Plan)
• Plan in place for sub
• Visual schedule and timers 
• seating arrangements for next year
• accommodations/modifications
• teacher recommendations for next year. 

4. Bring with you the most recent evaluation form Doctors and/or Therapist.

5. Ask questions. Communicate. 
You are the main B-I of the ARD committee. Don't every forget that.

I hope I can help any newbies or "oldbies" when it comes to ARD's. I wish all ARD's-mine and yours could be like the one I just had.

Here's to ARD's and water proof mascara. May the next one be just as good. 

Empathy.

Children and Adults on the spectrum do not lack the ability to have empathy.  Sometimes it is just a matter of knowing how to communicate or show the emotion. 

• Cognitive Empathy- The ability t predict other's thoughts and intentions including the ability to read between the lines during communication

• Affective empathy- The ability to share another person's feelings with them

• Compassionate Empathy- The desire to help others.

When N-Zilla was very small and didn't have the communication skills that he has now I was sad that maybe possibly I would never hear my son say that he loved me. I obsessed if he would even know how. I use to be hung up on those things. I'm gonna say it...I was so dumb then. It didn't take me very long to get over it.  Recently, at the beginning of the school year N-Zilla did something completely inappropriate at school. Still to this day I don't know why he did what he did. (I don't know if it was AU or ADHD or OCD or a bad day or whatever.) After talking to his (wonderful) teacher I did my walk of shame back to the car all the while N-Zilla was talking about Minecraft. I asked him if he did what he did. He said yes blanked faced a bit annoyed that I interrupted him. As soon as we all got settled in the car (minivan. Barf)  I turned to him and the tears poured over. I ugly cried. I managed to ask N-Zilla why he did what he did. He couldn't give me a answer. What he did next made me cry even more but this time tears of happiness. He unbuckled and gave me a hug and wiped my tears, "I'm sorry mommy". "Mommy, you sad"?

Sometimes when he is eating he walks up to me and gives me a piece of his food without saying a word.  Just last night while I was watching T.V N-Zilla came up to me, licked his finger and made the sign of the cross on my forehead.  I just went with it. I know that N-Zilla may not have Cognitive Empathy but I know with all of my heart that he has the ability to share another person's feelings with them and the desire to help others. Everything in life Autistic or not boils down to communication.  


*Here are links to post about AU and Empathy.

http://www.defyingthespectrum.com/2013/02/14/mythbuster-children-with-autism-are-affectionate/
http://www.defyingthespectrum.com/2014/04/25/autism-empathy-myth-day-2530-going-beyond-autism-awareness-2014/

Girls and ASD

Something to think about:

Girls are held to social norms and are more

 likely to go undiagnosed and less likely to get 

early intervention.

AUTISM DIFFERS BY GENDER.

Safri.org/…/autism-characteristics-differ-by-gender-studies…

WWW.oposingviews.com/i/autistic-girls-more-likely-to-go-ind…

Telegraph.co.uk/…/autism-and-girls-Why-we-urgentaly-need-to…

‪#‎nzilla‬ ‪#‎autismacceptancemonth‬ ‪#‎autisawareness‬

Tips and Suggestions. Stimming

Helpful tips, suggestions and good ole' fashion info from N-Zilla and mom in honor of April the month known as allergy hell in San Antonio Texas and National Autism Month. A month to promote Awareness, Acceptance, and to Educate.

In the world of Neuro-disorders you'll hear words like MELTDOWNS. TICs. STIMMING. 
While their are similarities they are different.

 Let's talk about Stimming.
Stimming is a repetitive body movement that self-stimulates one or more senses in regulated manner. Fun fact found at http://autism.wikia.com/wiki/Stimming many autistic children have no stims and about 10 percent of young children without autism stim.

Some benifites of stimming:

• Increased ability to remain calm
• Reduced meltdowns
• Increased tolerance of challenging sensory situations
• Increased focus, attention span, and task management abilities
• SELF-ACCEPTANCE AS AN AUTISTIC PERSON

Some examples of stimming:

• flapping hands. Blinking or moving fingers in front of eyes. 
• making vocal sounds. snapping fingers
• scratching; rubbing the skin with one's hand or other object
• rocking front and back or side to side. Moving in a rhythmic motion.
• licking body parts or an object. (their was  a point when N-Zilla licked tree's and Crazy Horse bite her hair)
• smelling objects, hands, or other people

Stim On!

*Stimming is not to be confused with self-harm. In the case of self-harm find a replacement behavior that is safe and healthy. Please speak with your doctor or in the case of a child your child's pediatrician. 

Tips and Suggestions. April Edition.

April is Autism Month!  A month for Awareness. A month for Acceptance. A month for Education. And if you or a family member is on the spectrum then it all year long.   

Tips and Suggestions from your friendly neighborhood N-Zilla and Mom~

Posting pictures and hashtagging are part (and appreciated) part of spreading the word. Keep doing it. In addition to hashtags and retweets in honor of April Autism Month here is a list of some local organizations her in San Antonio/Bexar County that are a good resource for Autistic people and families. Donate.Volunteer. Get to know the organization and share with your community. 

Any Baby Can. anybabycan.org

San Antonio Office

Address: 217 Howard

San Antonio, Texas 78212

Main Office Line: 210-227-0170

Fax Line: 210-227-0812

*autism community network. acn-sa.org 

Address: 4242 woodcock dr suite 101

San Antonio TX 78228

Phone: 210-435-1000

fax: 210-200-6056

*Brighton of San Antonio. brightonsa.org

Address: 14207 Higgins Rd

san Antonio tX 78217

Phone: 210826-4492

*Kenetic Kids San antonio. kinetickidstx.org

Autism Awareness

Friends and Family April is Autism Acceptance Month and April 2nd is Autism Acceptance/awareness  day. Tomorrow wear blue, red, pink, green any color to show support! Share your pictures FB IG Twitter etc #autismacceptance. All month long join activities throughout your neighborhood in support  of Autism Awareness and more importly AUTISM ACCEPTANCE. Learn more and search website like autismacceptancemonth.com or thinkingpersonsguidtoautism.com. 
Donate your time or money to an organization that goes back into helping and educating families on the spectrum. Educate yourself. Educate others.

Peace. Love. Educate. Awareness. ACCEPTANCE.

(P.S family and friends when you post pics in honor Autism Acceptance Day in addition to #autismacceptance don't forget your friendly neighborhood to #nzilla)

Thirty On...Mom!: On our to Temple Texas!

Thirty On...Mom!: On our to Temple Texas!: Tomorrow is appointment time! On our way for N-Zilla's appointment that was scheduled over a year ago. Who ever said that ADHD/ADD or ...

How I feel about the Holiday Schedule.

When N-Zilla's daily schedule is thrown off because of the holiday schedule but I really want him to enjoy holiday schedule.  

7 things you should know...

Revised: 2/25/2016

Recently I have been attending a Parent Group at N-Zilla's place of therapy. I'm all about mental health so when a fellow Pediatrics Therapy Associates parent came up with the idea of a parent support group I did what I always do. First I talked myself out of it then I talked myself into it. I've been going for a while now. Maybe a month or so. I see myself in all the ladies sitting in a circle laughing or crying or crying from laughing  and it got me thinking about(at least)7 things you should know about parents(especially mothers)of children with special needs.

1. We are have a sense of humor.

We are freak'n hilarious. We can laugh at ourselves, our situation, and appreciate others.

2. We run late.

Not all the time. Maybe it's just me. I don't know. We have great intentions of getting "there" on time but poop, pee, meltdowns, spouse came home late, traffic or time didn't freeze keeps us from getting "there" on time.

3. We are smart.

We are all kinds of smart. We have to be with/for our kids. Something tells me that we were smart before we had children. Book smarts. Street smart. Heck...we've got all the 9 smarts (it's a thing. I

google it) But not so smart that we (I) constantly make grammar and punctuation mistakes. See this.

4. We are the best at making lemons into lemonade.

Also making fermented grapes into wine. Whatever. The point is we definitely know how to roll with the punches and come out stronger, smarter, and funnier.

5. We do but we don't

...revolve around our child's diagnoses. It's so much a part of our life. True-but we also have other interest. Like, why did Jimmy (Evan Peters) sing Nirvana on last week's AHS Freak show (horrible) or will I ever perfect Beyonce's 711 before next girls night?

6. Our booty may be thick but our skin isn't (mostly).

Yes.  We've learned to roll with the punches. We've read everything about our child's ability. I mean everything. The good. The bad. The ill informed but some days our emotions are right under the surface. One tiny thing could open the floodgates.  

7. We are human.

The most important. We are human. So often as mothers and caregivers especially to children with special needs we lose ourselves. Could it be avoided? I'm not sure. With the weekly sometimes daily shuttles to and from therapy appointments and doctor visits, timed and scheduled everything to be pro-active for our children's needs, being 5 steps ahead and wondering what we could have done differently when things didn't work out. We could get lost in the fog. Forget ourselves. Barely remembering to shower. Sometimes a hug, a phone call, a grown-up dinner without ear muffs is all we need. We need our significant others to see us for all our qualities 1-7 and be human with us.

Boom. Encouragement.

Therapy Thursday

Lot's of good feelings going on. 

N-Zilla in the waiting room doing pretend play.  It's kinda a big deal and it's happening more and more!   

N-Zilla and Luminaria.

Beautiful.

Kindergarten (again)

. 

We made it.  First week back to school under our belts.  Teachers. Parents. Daycare.  We did it!  


Okay...I would like to say  that this is the first year of all the school years (for N-Zilla) that I the mom have had a positive-fabulous-optimistic- and all the happy words in the thesaurus experience with A) new school B) new teacher and  C) first week.

*Back track
Lets go back to the end of last school year May ARD.  In this ARD we made the decision that N-Zilla would continue another year in Kindergarten. In his scenario I think it would benefit him and after a few years of trial and error in the IEP process towards the end of last school year I felt very comfortable with the ARD team. I was being heard and I was hearing them. We all had the best interest of N-Zilla. I took classes at ANY BABY CAN and Brighton ECI with Janet Fitzhugh to understand better the ARD process, my rights and responsibilities as the parent and N-Zilla's rights. I got to know the Spec Ed teacher, the OT therapist, the speech therapist, and most of the other members of the ARD committee.  We worked really hard on N-Zilla's new IEP. Most ARD meetings are not like your typical parent/teacher meeting. They can last few hours and in some cases weeks if it is "tabled".

*Fast Foward
N-Zilla is now at his home campus. He is in his 2nd year of kinder and at meet the teacher night I felt relief. (Little fun fact N-Zilla's Kinder Teacher was my daughters Kinder teacher back in the day aka 2008.) 
Every year the school picks a theme for the year one year it was gardens/flowers, next was safari.  This year-Super Hero! Yes Super Hero.  What a way to peek N-Zilla's interest.
Now for the best part of all...N-Zilla's Teacher.  She read his IEP.  Yes, those things in the ARD.  That thing that I and the rest of the ARD committee worked so hard on last school year.  She read the ARD!  Mrs. C was being Proactive instead of reactive.  Sounds small especially at Meet the Teacher Night but it made a difference.  Many times I hear, "He seems fine to me" or "He looks normal" or "Tons of kids do that" or "Are you sure it's not just you" Or "cut the cord mom".   I take these statements with a spoon of sugar and as a compliment because it means that I and all the people on N-Zilla's team are proactive not reactive. It means that in 6 years I've learned to think like N-Zilla and so does his Kinder teacher.  It means that OT therapy and Speech therapy twice a week does wonders. Shout out to Miss Jenny and Mrs. Megan!

A huge shout out to Ms. C!  Walking into the class room visions of Ryan Gosling with his thumbs up wearing reading glasses saying it's gonna be cool Adee, it's gonna be cool. She had his space ready for him on the carpet and his desk.  Even the spot for his pack-back or as I use to call it the pack-pack.  It was perfect. Knowing what to expect daily and having a visual is N-Zilla's method of operation.

Added bonus, because my older kids went to this Elementary I am familiar with some of the staff. Like Son Number One's 3rd grade and Tag teacher. So comforting really she's the best.  Yes the best.
I've got a good feeling about this year. Not every day is gonna be all the positive words in the Thesaurus. Some weeks are gonna end with a bottle of Wine and NetFlix for either me or Ms. C (or both) but I feel so good and safe that lines of communication are open, N-Zilla's has eyes around the school, and most of all Ms. C is his teacher and what we don't know we will learn together.

            

                                         

Summer is Almost Over

Oh Summer.  We hardly knew ye.

Well...that's not entirely true.  Of course the summer solstice comes and goes regardless AND we did some things AND school doesn't officially start until the 25th.  We mostly hung out at home this summer.  Occasional BBQ. Lots of swimming. Of course staying on schedule.  Nope, that last sentence was a lie.  Really truly a lie.  I've stuck to a very basic vague schedule and haven't been keeping up with N-Zilla's school work.  The most accomplished thing this summer is getting N-Zilla to sleep in his own bed and at his school schedule time.  Lots of Minecraft and Netflix.  Not my proudest moment as a mother but we sure did relax.  I think we all needed that. 

So crash course on 123's, ABC's, night time schedules, and ARD's.  Plus we'll get to enjoy the last 3 weeks of our summer vacation.  Here's to N-Zilla. You're gonna have an awesome school year...now let's watch The Crood's 50 more times before August 25th. 

THE ONE. THE ONLY. N-ZILLA

Just a little picture of this handsome guy.  He's counting down the days until his 6th birthday.

No more pencils. No more books. No more teacher's dirty looks.

I don't know about you all but I am diffidently ready for the school year to be over.  This year it really felt like it came and went so fast.  I'm still working on our night time routine.  I still haven't figured out if it's better that I take a shower at night or morning to save time.  I'm pretty sure I have a laundry basket of clean clothes from September that I have to put away.

I need a breather.  I need a break from the emails and the letters and the ARDS and cue cards.  Not to mention the beast that is 6th grade.  I'm ready for that grade to be over with.  It's like a tooth ache.  2 down 2 more to go.
Honestly sometimes I find myself feeling angry.  I just want my kiddo to enjoy kindergarten the way I did.  The way I think I did. The way kids should?

I don't see N-Zilla enjoying school.  Not even a babble of what happened at recesses.  When I ask him how school was his immediate reply is, "I didn't get in trouble".  That's sad.  That makes me sad.  Tons of sad face emoticons.  TONS!

So this summer we are staying home.  Our house. Getting to enjoy a much needed break.

Tomorrow is a new day.  Next school year is a new school year and we are still us but we will be rested. Focused.  Appreciating who we are and what our life is.  I will be doing more of the soul searching-I'm sure-while the kids will be happy to sleep in (mostly).

Obsession Sundays #3

It's not Sunday or even Monday...but the picture was taken on Sunday with the intention of posting.  

So welcome to Sunday Obsession Mine Craft edition

Obsession Sundays #2

ob·ses·sion  [uhb-sesh-uhn] 

noun

1. 

the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

2.

the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.

3.

the state of being obsessed.

4.

the act of obsessing.

Origin: 
1505–15;  < Latin obsessiōn-  (stem of obsessiō ) blockade, siege, equivalent to obsess ( us ) (see obsess) +-iōn- -ion